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Soo, I finally chilled with a family member today, and I'm unbelieveably happy. No one even knows. I haven't seen her in what seems like forever, up until today. Our talk, covered everything, and I wouldn't say it all on here, even if I didn't know anyone reading it. It just was better left alone, up until today.. and I love how it happened today. She really changed my life. She changes it everytime I see her. You're going to think this is dumb, or stupid or something, but I ate today. And I kept it. I HAVE kept it. Since the past three days... I've eaten. AND I have something to say to Austin. I can't even explain it, because I have yet to come to terms on what it is that I wanna discuss. Things aren't well though. I see promise in living without getting hurt again. I just want that to be for the both of us. Seperately, and I can't even explain it. I've found reasons for my feelings and I don't even understand what I'm feeling. This is really a confusing state of my life right now, and it's exciting, because it doesn't feel horrid. With as {tramatic} as my life has turned out, I know that this day turned a lot of that around. I'm happy. I'm feeling happy, and it's a little scary, because up until now, from the past few months, there hasn't been a REAL happy moment in my life. I don't want this feeling to leave, but if I have a true, true depression, then it will leave. If so, I see myself reading this over, and calling that person. Because she's given me hope that life isn't completely as it has been and that, though many can't see it, changes are coming about. Haha, I'm not sure if she realized it, herself, but that's what I've gotten to. I don't even think she meant to, but she does... HOPEFULLY she'll read this and say something to me about it. No one knows.
Well, I'm still at a friend's and she wants on so I'm off. Chit chat later, loves. |
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Posted by jasnicolelifestyle on 2008-07-22 04:38:00 | Rating: | Views: 33
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