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| The Scattered Random Thoughts of a Teenage Loser
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Well, the good news is that I don't have to have surgery on my knee or be on crutches. They did find a condition where my knee cap will move all the way to the side of my leg when I stand up and run so they told me that I can't play anymore sports. That really sucks because outside of band and writing that is like all I do. I am really disappointed because of that. I guess today can be my pity party and then get over it. My knee has been really hurting though so I have to go through physical therapy and if that doesn't work, resort to surgery. Since my last post, I have been really having a hard time. One of my friends that I had gotten close too died of brain cancer. He was seven years old. Sometimes I wonder why I am even here on Earth. I'm not the best person out there and when I see things happen to someone that young who has a heart of gold and hasn't even experienced life but loves it so much, it makes me wish that he was still here and I wasn't. There is so much stress in my life that it is becoming unbearable. I hate most of the situations that I seem to be put in but it never ceases to stop. I have a feeling that be the time I hit twenty-one, I will have grey hair. Right now, I have to focus on the main goals to get things accomplished, hide my emotions instead of wearing them on my sleeve, stop being taken advantage of, work on college crap, and get any other things done. I am not going to prom. I have decided that instead of spending all of my money on a prom dress and accessories, I am saving that money for spending money when I go to Spain and Washington D.C. this summer. I guess that I am lucky. Another thing that has been really bugging me has been the whole boyfriend situation. I really wish that I had a boyfriend. When I had a boyfriend, I could tell him anything and he would listen which made me feel so much better. Being single is rough on me because I feel like I have no one to really talk to hence this blog. I have a couple of friends who I can talk to but I don't really think I can tell them everything because they just don't understand everything that I am going through. I'm beginning to give up on myself in more ways than one.
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Posted by jarhead301 on 2008-04-02 17:30:00 | Rating: | Views: 68
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