So I was online downloading pictures and found a picture that said
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us"
I have been reading this constantly since yesterday and trying to figure out what really lies within me. And what I am going to do to change the things that I do not like that lie within these fleshy walls.
The woman in the office next to me, always has something to say. she is blabbering on about anger right now. When she has been venting all day. I am tempted just to shut the office door and shut her out.
BLAH BLAH BLAH STILL
cant write while she is talking but it is important to keep the thoughts moving so as not to loose the ability to write.
I know I have my anger issues, and my loud mouth, almost intentionally vulgar vocabulary and just plain foul attitude. But I have learned over the years that Silence is often golden. and as much as I pressure my boyfriend to talk to me, or do the "let communicate" thing I know that sometimes there really is nothing to say.
And not for lack of caring but you reach a comfortable state. Where things are good, almsot too good and you are more willing to screw it up than let it be there for it is more uncomfortable to know good, when all you have known is bad.
I guess I always thought I was a optomist untill recently when I realized my outlook on life sucks. that I am broken and damaged on the inside and need to let the light shine down into the hollow parts of me and let the process of something new begin. because as a crazy person I have realized that the only ways werent working, trying to do it on my own isnt working so i need some outside help.
I am ashamed that my boyfriend "seems" to be able to make himself better after his addiction, and I can not. And I have been sober longer than he has.
but that is neither here nor there.
I do not know what Lies in me. I am thinking I need a deep hard look. but that will come soon enough.
My newest journey begins.
One to know me. What lies inside.
| Views: 95
Email This to a Friend 
