Yes, it has been a dream to have at least a stint in modelling. I even love taking my own pictures and my digicam is one of my best friends. Everytime I go somewhere, I always bring it and I prepare myself for some nice snaps.


Had even some offers or proposal for some modelling jobs but I was too scared to take it. I am not sure what will it take me. I don't want to be sorry somehow, so I feel like I have to be so sure about what I will get on with. So I just ignore it thinking that I might get into porno or some illegal things. I can't make up my mind coz I feel like anytime, I will be in trouble and I don't want to jeopardize my career for that.


I know how bad I want to experience how it is like to be once a model, but I am not despearate to do it and I won't risk  my credibility just to get it. I believe there is the right time for it and I need not to really hope for it as I know I have my career now. Maybe just for a change I can try it from time to time but I am definitely not gonna make it for a living. I know it is very difficult in contrasts as what people think about it. It seems easy to do but really require a lot of hardwork and discipline I suppose.

What makes me write this? Well tonight, I just spoke to a film director for ads. He told me that I can try out modelling and he can refer me to his clients. I just need some portfolios and stuff and he is willing to take my snaps for my portfolio for free. He seems for real and we just have a deal between us when I start to earn some big money.

As a starter, he can help me out to learn how it works out then give me some tips on how to do some photo shoots and all. He wants me to have my confidence and just to be bold as possible. I even asked him what is that to BOLD for him and he made me understand it pretty well so I might give in.

Just that, despite of every assurance I had, I still have this thoughts if I can really trust this person. Yes I know he can help me out, that he can make things possible for me, but I am still so nervous about it. I don't want to humiliate myself and I am worried about my career now. I am not sure if I still have to consult our HRD about the sideline that I might be doing. I don't want to expose my company to anything and be terminated because of that.

I felt like my dreams can be happening soon, I just need to become brave enoough to face it and grab the opportunities that are coming my way. I know I can do it, just I need to do head to head to lots of people hoping to get into the modelling business. I just got lucky to be found out of nowhere and Voila.....I might be the next big thing...how is that! RIGHT............!

Anyway, whatever happens, there should be no regrets. I should stand by my decisions and should not blame anyone for it. I am just hoping everything will fall into it's places.Let's wait and see what happens.............