| View Blog
|
|
| My second virginity, hashish. Gone.
|
|
|
Okay.
So I let in.
The one thing I've been so sure my whole life I'd never do.
And I did it this weekend.
Twice.
It was getting hard to resist. I knew so much about it. I knew how to prepare it, I knew where to buy it, how much and to what price. I knew the difference between green, brown and black. I knew the short-term consequences and the long-term. I knew how it affects your head, that music, colours and sounds become even more beatiful. How every worry disappears, how you become generally much happier. I knew that it dries your mouth. I also knew that you can either smoke it or eat it. If you eat it, it lasts up till ten hours (compared to smoking which lasts about four hours), but then you can get a hangover. I knew that you get big pupils, red eyes, lose your consentration and talk more slowly. I even knew how to harvest.
I knew all this before I had tried it.
But half of the knowledge vanished, because I didn't have the experience.
I had to experience it myself to get all the knowledge about cannabis as possible.
This is my official excuse.
The truth? I'm curious.
I know so much about it, I've watched people getting high so many times.
I was just too damn curious to resist smoking hashish this friday.
So I did. With Kyle and Ingeborg.
And I did it again on Saturday.
It was fucking wonderful. I understand them now, those who just want more...
I found myself longing just to get back to being high when it was over.
Also, I was so god damn depressed afterwards. I couldn't move a finger.
I tried watching a movie, but I didn't really watch it.
I lost my concentration for almost 24 hours.
I tried reading something, but I couldn't.
With Kyle smoking so often... I'll probably go with him when he smokes from now on. I mean, that feeling is worth coming back to. I just really hope I'm able to control myself, so that I don't mess things up in my life.
I just feel like I'm losing grip of things.
Half a year ago, this is something I'd never even imagine I'd ever do.
What am I becoming?
|
|
Posted by incense on 2008-06-16 17:15:33 | Rating: | Views: 78
|
|
| |
|
|
| Blog Comments
|
|
|
|
|
i know how you feel. I've done it and i've recovered from it. soon you'll want it more and more. Trying to find the money to buy it then feel like shit in the morning because you aren't high anymore. I'm not here to tell you to stop. But keep an eye on your using. It will get out of hand. Soon it will be everyday and then every month and then you'll feel lost. And completely lose track of your life.
|
|
Posted by FallenAngel091
on 2008-07-10 02:23:05
|
|
|
|
|
Just keep an eye of how much your spending. That will tell you if you should cut down or not. Have at least one sober day a week. x
|
|
Posted by molly_desire
on 2008-07-13 08:43:06
|
|
|
|
|
|
Email This to a Friend 
