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I just got to know that my ex boyfriend (who I still sleep with, because “we are trying to fix our relationship”, which means he hopes for a relationship while I enjoy sex) had been kissing another girl at the party on Friday (which I couldn’t attend to, due to my very embarrassing scene at the last party with a bottle of vodka and not so very happy parents), and he was so angry with himself, and oh he regretted… But, did I care? No. That made me realize, why not just move on? Being with him hurts me anyway, because I miss the times it was us. Now, I tell myself to be realistic. We simply can’t start going out together because my parents hate him so much because he stole that money, but I pretend there’s a chance, to get some temporary satisfaction in that very moment. And it just goes on and on… And he’s throwing a party this Friday as well, and I’m planning to go.
So I decided that would be the very last time I’d ever see him again. Move on, get new boys (whom I actually can trust), have fun, focus on school and family and other friends… But I came to think of, it is actually possible that I carry his child right now, and until I know for sure I’m not, I need him by my side. And I continue that general depressive way of thinking, because the boy I’m in love with is there with me, but still isn’t… Which is hard.
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Posted by incense on 2008-04-22 13:29:39 | Rating: | Views: 117
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"the boy I’m in love with is there with me, but still isn’t… Which is hard. " - can i quote dis?- thanks for the comment, I appreciate. :)
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Posted by annoy
on 2008-04-26 00:58:55
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Sure :)
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Posted by incense
on 2008-04-29 15:13:40
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