God. I hate him I hate him. I hate him so much.
I don't know what's wrong with me...
I get these abstincenes, and then I go to his place, we fuck, and then I feel ready to break up. The next day I get the same abstinences, I go to his place, we fuck, and then I feel ready to break up. All the same, over
and over again. I feel like I'm destroying myself by doing this.

I want to, I should and I have to break up.
I'm just too much of a coward.
Besides, I think I'm a nymphomaniac.
At the age of 16? Nooo way. Damn.

Well, now I don't really hang around with him either. It's just for the sex.
And to have something or someone to think of.
And, because I like having control over him. God what a control freak I am.

It's Kyle. It's my Kyle.
What am I without him?
Oh, I know I'd do just fine without him, I'm just not sure I want to.

Aargh. I hate him.
He confuses my existence and intrudes my mind.
It feels like I could ask him to fuck off anytime, still never.

---

Should I smoke pot? For the first time ever?
You see, I've always said no and all.. I never liked it when Kyle was smoking (well.. he still does though).
But now a really close friend of mine asked me to try it out with her, and I started to think why not.
Before I do something seriously stupid... Help... WHY SHOULDN'T I?