I just put the phone down talking to his sister, she said he was doing fine and yet she refused to tell me where he is. Being in this awkward situation not being able to hear his voice is driving me nuts. I want to hear his voice and tell me that he is well and that he will be back soon. I feel lost right now wishing I am close to that one person who makes me feel happy and safe. I wish to see his smile and I know everything is just going to be fine. Wishing he was with me to share laughs and jokes during my birthday, and wish he was the one who gave me the teddy bear. Its seems nothing change he still knows what I want, he still knows the simple thing that makes me smile. It’s crazy to miss arguing with him everyday, I’m so crazy to miss the times when we shout at each other even through the smallest arguments we have, his jealousy and immaturity now I came to appreciate.

         It’s his birthday today, and I wonder how he is celebrating it, sad to say he is alone somewhere and it’s my fault. I wanted to give him my gift but I have no idea how, I’m way to embarrass to give it to his mom because I know she would say that I still do love his son after all. Why do I long for his smile? Isn’t that crazy to ask too… I keep on telling myself I don’t love him anymore but my heart says I still do. I’m still madly in love with him, his eyes, his smile, his lips and even his laughs I miss terribly. Now I would give up everything just to have him back and to take back everything I said to him. I keep on listening to the song “Only reminds me of you” because everything right now reminds me of him. Our friends, his pictures, his family and every corner of our house remind me that once in my life every corner we shared something special. It’s also funny when I went to there house every corner of it too has our secrets believe me they are a lot of secrets in that house (don’t wonder what they are you’ll never know).

         Boy I miss everything about him, even his lamest joke, his silly face when our friend do the weirdest thing, him trying to copy a dance even if he cant and how frustrated he gets when he realize he look stupid trying to do it. I miss how our hands fit perfectly well with each other, and how we won’t let go of it even when we are just walking. I miss starring at his eyes; it seems that just to see those eyes I see our future so clear. I miss everything but most of all I miss hearing him say I love you to me. Darn why does it have to be this way! Why did we ever part ways? O yah I remember the reason and yet I can’t accept that reason. I just want him back to me; I want him close to me again and feel his body close to me.

         I want to tell him that yes his mom is right that no time, distance, person even or whatever can ever change the way I feel for him. That yes Magic is right that no matter how much I deny it to myself I’m still so in love with him and yes that whole world tells me that he will always be the one for me and no one would even come close to that. I just want him back and maybe I can tell this to him without hesitation and everything would be ok again.