| idowhatiwant's Blog Entries |
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Between Reality and Dream
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Each step of mine feels foreign
as if my legs don't belong to me.
Everything around me seems surreal.
My own mother who's by my side,
her voice echoes so far away
Is this a dream or is this real?
Oh no! I finally remember. Not now
...
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Posted by:
idowhatiwant on 2008-03-17 20:18:20
Average Rating: No Rating |
Views: 108 |
# Comments: 3 | Tags:
poetry
depression
surreal
dream
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Sullen
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In the brightly lit hallway,
empty and quiet
except for the 'tap, tap'
of the nurse's shoes
I hear the t.v.
it sounds miles away.
I wonder, "Have you missed me?"
This is day two of me
sleeping the hours away.
The...
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Posted by:
idowhatiwant on 2008-03-10 23:46:12
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Views: 114 |
# Comments: 1 | Tags:
poetry
depression
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What is this?
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I hear the water drip,
getting slower,
in tune with my heartbeat,
as I’m laying here
ignoring the pounding on the door.
Can you hear me cry?
I wonder,
what is this?
I breathe
I see
I smell
I...
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Posted by:
idowhatiwant on 2008-03-02 22:22:19
Average Rating: No Rating |
Views: 157 |
# Comments: 6 | Tags:
poetry
depression
poem
poems
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Ocean of Emotions
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I came to face my fears.
Only to realize that my fears
are an ocean.
Suddenly, the rain of what I feel is falling
tossing me from side to side
on what i thought was my unsinkable.
Soon, i'm treading for my life.
I try to scream,
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Posted by:
idowhatiwant on 2008-02-27 23:45:35
Average Rating: No Rating |
Views: 97 |
# Comments: 6 | Tags:
depression
poetry
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Crossroads
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Cushion my bed for a sleep
I have come close to achieving.
Lower me down, enabling me to touch the sky.
Lay this dust
let it encircle me.
This treacherous journey has brought me almost to my knees,
but I soon reach my crossroads.
I look...
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Posted by:
idowhatiwant on 2008-02-26 01:44:42
Average Rating: No Rating |
Views: 109 |
# Comments: 4 | Tags:
life
journey
perspective
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Statuesque
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I smile with a broken face,
lifeless.
I've allowed others to chip and mold me
like a statue.
How can I make you see
there's a soul inside?
I yearn and reach out,
scream and cry out.
So desperately.
I want you to see...
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Posted by:
idowhatiwant on 2008-02-25 04:26:39
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Views: 104 |
# Comments: 6 | Tags:
beauty
depression
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This Feeling
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This feeling chases away my fears
and i"m bold again
where my fears are secondary
and I can laugh endlessly at nothing.
I've found a new addiction
that makes me feel safe
in my own skin,
my own mind,
in being me.
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Posted by:
idowhatiwant on 2008-02-25 00:48:09
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Views: 123 |
# Comments: 1 | Tags:
freedom
depresssion
addiction
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Glad They Made Out Alive
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Everyone has gone through the downs
where the road seemed to end.
What is behind is chasing after you.
You don't know what it is
but what's certain is: it's bad.
and It's coming to get you.
There's no place to hide.
But, child,...
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Posted by:
idowhatiwant on 2008-02-21 23:19:39
Average Rating: No Rating |
Views: 160 |
# Comments: 2 | Tags:
depression
suicide
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Ode to My Heart
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I'm sinking.
I can feel it.
Like being in an elevator
when it goes down a little bit faster.
I can feel myself leap just a bit,
even though my feet are still on the ground.
That has been my revelation today.
I'm not flying,
I’m...
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Posted by:
idowhatiwant on 2008-02-19 00:38:44
Average Rating: |
Views: 127 |
# Comments: 6 | Tags:
sinking
depression
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Losing Streak
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When i'm driving in my car,
and a man comes on
to say how this world has lost its sway
and this curse will always be with me
as it has so far.
Oh, how easy it would be to end this.
Watch me lose my mind.
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Posted by:
idowhatiwant on 2008-02-18 01:04:26
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Views: 144 |
# Comments: 3 | Tags:
depression
suicide
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Posted by:
idowhatiwant on 2008-02-10 00:35:10
Average Rating: No Rating
| Views: 89
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Has my sanity fled me?
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My answer at this point is yes. There's this band, my absolute favorite band: Blue October. Their name came from when the lead Justin Furstenfeld was in a psych ward during the month of october.
My point.
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Posted by:
idowhatiwant on 2008-02-10 00:09:35
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Views: 182 |
# Comments: 3 | Tags:
depression
fear
anxiety
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What You Did
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You left me emptier than you found me
and judged me for how I tried fixing what you broke.
You left so sudden that I had no time
to prepare my heart.
That's why, up to today, I miss you more than I let on.
Each...
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Posted by:
idowhatiwant on 2008-02-08 23:50:52
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Views: 173 |
# Comments: 5 | Tags:
broken heart
relationships
dating
breaking up
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No. 2
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I'm tired of being second,
if i'm that lucky.
I'm tired of being so easy to replace.
I miss you, but you don't care.
You didn't even bother saying goodbye.
I didn't even get to see your back walking away.
Time, finally revealed truth.
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Posted by:
idowhatiwant on 2008-02-07 02:43:39
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Views: 89 |
# Comments: 2 | Tags:
broken heart
lonely
alone
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The Calm, the Chaos
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What day is it?
When they all seem to run into each other.
Sleep, what used to be my only ali, has escaped me
left me to the demons that awake
when the world sleeps.
When no one can help me,
when no one can hear me when I scream!
...
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Posted by:
idowhatiwant on 2008-02-07 02:02:30
Average Rating: |
Views: 122 |
# Comments: 2 | Tags:
depression
insanity
suicide
PTSD
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Foe=Friend
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Today I met a new friend.
Loneliness.
I've been running away from him
not realizing that the harder i try
to shake him off, the stronger his grip;
the faster i try to run,
he's always one step ahead of me.
Well, today i sat down and faced...
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Posted by:
idowhatiwant on 2008-02-07 01:47:06
Average Rating: |
Views: 58 |
# Comments: 0 | Tags:
depression
loneliness
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Sound of Breaking Explicit Content
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They say there's no life after death
but with me, there's been no life after birth
and all i wait for is these lungs to refuse breathe,
this mind, for once, to finally be at ease,
and this hea
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Posted by:
idowhatiwant on 2008-02-07 01:39:20
Average Rating: |
Views: 126 |
# Comments: 1 | Tags:
Suicide
depression
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