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For seven years, my mother has dated the same person. Keep in mind my mother is not the easiest person to handle. She's one of those people you would call high maintenance; not in the sense that she needs her nails done every week, but in the sense that she needs to have milk in the morning and she needs to hang all of her clothes on hangers when traveling (without a travel bag...yes, free floating clothes on hangers).
Recently she spent over a week in the hospital. She had lost about 20 pounds. She started at a weight of 145 and dropped to 115, not to mention, she was tiny at 145 pounds. Things were not going well for her, i'm not sure why or where it came from...or really how it happened, but it did.
My mom was always a nervous person, she always had to have things just so. If things didn't go as planned, there was no plan b. things were...not "ok" if she forgot the mushrooms for the dinner we were making, it was not ok to just laugh and run up to the store. It was a short anger session, followed by a i can't believe i did that, followed by a deep breath. 10 minutes later, it was...sorta ok.
I got a call on saturday from the hospital. The nurse said that it wasn't an emergency, and that I was to call her back because my mom was there and wanted to talk to me. In case you were unaware, doctor appointments do not take place where i come from on saturdays.
Hi? Is everthing ok? Your in the hospital, Ok'? When did you get there? Ok? i'll be there tomorrow...i can't drive in the dark because of..you know.....(or really i just need a drink to settle my nerves and process al of this before i face you).
I'm not ready to think about what all happened that week i took off of work to spend at home, the hour drive one way i drove each day there and back to visit my mother is the psych ward.
I am ready to think about the people around my mother though.
Did she get sick because she saw it coming and didn't know how to handle it? I dont know how i could handle watching a train take out a car with myself still in the drivers seat.
All those years he catered to her. Anything she wanted, not money or gems, but he catered to all of her flaws, her demands, however slight....yet in the end, when it really matered, he didn't cater at all. In fact, he ran like hell.
Was he running from her, from the relationship, or the fear that he may be dating a crazy person that can't deal with her problems? I'll never know, i don't want to know. That's not the point. The point is, we never saw it coming.
So hindsight is always 20/20, but can we truly be that damn blind. Can we not see, are we too wrapped up in people that we can't see them for who they really are?
Is it really that people change, or is it that we choose not to see their true colors.
I can certainly say i've turned around and thought, how the hell did i get here. So if you allow yourself to trust someone, are you really just trusting yourself. trusting who you think you are trusting.
That's getting a bit twisted now. But really, i've had people pull 180's on me before. Come to think of it, it really wasn't a 180, they were turning ever so slightly that i didn't even notice, and that's what's difficult. When those suttle changes do not catch your attention, until all of them suddenly slap you across your face and you realize what you've been missing all along. someone's true colors.
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Posted by hyacinth on 2007-12-12 22:12:07 | Rating: | Views: 92
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I heard that! Most of my life has been spent nursing the wounds left over by someone I thought I knew and could trust.
I try to make someone earn my trust now. I don't give it away blindly anymore. I've been burned and now I know that fire is hot. Always be careful.
I hope your mother heals as quickly and as easily as possible.
Peace to you.
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Posted by smilinirisheyes
on 2007-12-12 22:35:44
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