Hi everyone.
Boy what a whirlwind of a day yesterday.  I never thought anything would come of emailing local companies for a job last year when i decided on a career turnaround.  But yesterday I had a call from a local jewelers that I adore, they asked me for an interview for a full time job !! Wow I emailed them last September, and never thought I would hear back.  Fingers crossed this week for me please.
My birthday is dawning in a couple of weeks.. the big 40 !! When I had the call about the job I so wanted to let my mum know, why is that? I told everyone that could listen I was so pleased, I felt that my life could turn another corner, perhaps, maybe.. we'll see.  My mum wouldn't care anyway, a job is a job, a means to an end.  Her response would have been ' you are a qualified Pharmacy Technician so why change now after 5 years of study from being a pharmacy assistant doing part time to actually managing a Pharmacy.  She would not have accepted that I was stressed out to the max, bullied by a woman who was older and worked under me, she would not have seen the 50 hours a week I put in trying to make it work when staff worked against me.  I need the change, even if only for a while, I need to feel that I am putting something back into the family rather than penny pinching to make ends meet.  Why would my Mum treat me like that, she can only see till the end of her nose, I used to tell her that there was more to life than just working, eating and sleeping.  I am right she is wrong.  she chose to live her life that way.  She chose to lie with a paedophile, she chose her life against me and my children, she pushed us away in an instant, shutting the doors between us.  Yes I shouted at her when she accused my eldest of flirting with her husband.. my Dad, she said it was all my daughters fault..HE IS AN ABUSER, HE IS A PERVERT, HE TOK MY DAUGHTER TO A WOOD AND TOLD HER HORRID PREVERTED THINGS THAT SHE SHOULD NEVER HEAR, HE TOLD HER HOW HE ABUSED ME AND GOT AWAY WITH IT !!!!! ONLY A PHONE CALL FROM HER BOYFRIEND SAVED HER.  HE DID IT NOT HER, NOT ME, HIM HIM HIM HIM !!!!!!!! Mum why can't you see that??????????? why can't my sister see that????? she was abused too, I witnessed it, I was there, we were together !!! She left me too, she chose the abuser over her nieces and me, BITCH ! I feel so ANGRY.  I feel so ALONE.  I have 3 confused daughters, 16 18 and 20 years old, all have been hurt, all have been at the hands of evil.  Now as they grow up I have to take their confusions on board, I have to be their battering ram, I have my own demons but I have to be there for them too, I am their MUM, I care, I love them even though sometimes I feel overwhelmed with their fears.  I WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR THEM.  WHERE ARE YOU FOR ME ????????? SHE MAY NOT HAVE TAUGHT ME THE RIGHT THINGS AS A CHILD BUT SHE DID TEACH ME WHAT NOT TO DO.  I am the opposite of her, I hug my kids, I tell them everyday that I love them, I am there for them in every way... and they know it.
MUM MUM MUM all time consuming all a waste of time !!