Helpless, thats what we are.. Children.. well little adults really, they have the body but not the experiance yet to be fully fledged adults.
She says she wants to be a normal 18 year old.. what does she mean?  Does she mean getting drunk? vomiting all over herself? having your mum clean you up in the small hours of the morning?  Does it mean you try and take your own life? Does it mean you worry your parents sick if you are going to try it again?  Does being 18 mean you cut your arms and legs till the skin is covered in scratches that will scar forever?
WHAT DOES IT MEAN???????
WHAT DOES SHE WANT?????
DOES SHE WANT TO DIE????
WHAT CAN I DO FOR HER???
HOW CAN I LOVE HER MORE THAN I DO?
HOW DO YOU TALK TO AN 18 YEAR OLD?
HOW DO YOU HELP HER M.E RUINING HER LIFE?
HOW CAN YOU PROVE THAT LIFE CAN BE WORTH IT?
All I want to do is hold her, make her safe, make her realise that she is so prescious to us.  That we would be devastated if she took her life.  
She sat there on her bedroom floor at 1 this morning, vomit all over her, swaying back and forth.. saying she had a great time and she just wants a normal 18 year olds life.  I can't take the M.E away but I can help her through it, she just wants to live at a hectic pace and then crashes for a week, sleeping all the time.  What can I do? My husband said I was wrong tidying her up, that I should have left her to realise in the morning what she had done.  I am not that sort of Mum, I had kids to look after them, not ignore them in their time of need.  Yes, maybe I did do too much for her this morning, but hey.. damn it she tried to kill herself last weekend, and no-one was home so it wasn't a call for help.  So why shouldn't I stay awake and keep watch over her.
May God give me peace, just for one week.. to have nothing go bad, to be able to catch a breath before the next hurdle.
Keep safe.. sleep well.. love one another. x