What’s the point. Seriously, what’s the point. We have a beginning at point A, an end at point B. We have a finite span, so what’s the point. It is so random. You can be rich, you can be poor, you can be happy, and you can be sad. You can live long or short. But the truth is we all are going to die. Why try? Sometimes I see the point in the religious systems that believe in afterlife. It makes it easy to die if you know all is not lost. There is still something rewarding in living and being alive. I wish to have a tree by a stream where I’ll be waiting for my loved one, but I don’t. I don’t believe. We are by-products of a strange biochemical reaction, and we happen to evolve brains. That’s our curse. Our bodies still want to live as simple primates, find food, reproduce, find food, and reproduce, find food and reproduce. We make up an entire complicated culture to do these simple things. We have schools that educates us, so that we will be a functioning (reproducing) individuals of the society, and find jobs to makes us satisfied (eating) and be productive (thrive). Yet, it is the same, billions of years old game. Eat, reproduce, and thrive. We all are going to die in the end. Billions of atoms of nitrogen, oxygen, carbon, hydrogen, phosphate, calcium, sodium, potassium, iron, and many trace elements are going to be dissipated from our bodies either into thin air or into the soil. Granted, those atoms are going to survive. Theoretically we are all ever present. In fact, in some ways I am perhaps a fish that lived 300 million years ago, and part a dino from Jurassic. You know, the entire planet is a one big recycler. Everything gets recycled in this world. Nothing is lost. Some losses quality, but almost never quantity (unless you are radioactive). You take form, you loose form, and what happens? Only the entropy increases. There is no other way. It needs to increase. And we make it increase faster. We eat too much, and then we are worried we are going to die (as if it there is another way) because of this, and then we exercise to be health and live longer. And we heat the planet, yes, in addition to our cars, A/C, factories we give heat to world as well. We eat to much, we indulge. Because we are apes. That’s what apes are. Intelligent, but lazy, good for nothing. Eat, sleep, sex. Sleep, sex, eat, sex, sleep. And some random fighting in between.

Once I saw a footage of lemur baby and a mom. They were running away from a predator, and the baby is too young to be acrobatic accurately. She misses the branch and falls down to the ground. The predator is not far behind, the mom goes down and pulls the baby. Tries to pull her. Tries, tries, and eventually she understands that she is not living. She gives up. You can see how heartbroken she was. That’s what intelligence does to you. You feel pain. Constant pain. You look at and understand things, yet you have no control over thing. You feel useless, and insignificant and yet keep understanding what’s happening. Once you are old enough to understand things, nothing is joyful anymore. In the beginning I think man knew that there is no point of life. Nothing, nada, zilch. That’s why they come up with numerous belief systems so that there is something to hold on to. Something to make the world go around. Something to live for. It is all nice and dandy, but some people hold this too strongly and we ended up with crusades, conquestadors, Rhodesia, extinct Tasmanians, Al-Quida, and Bush. So whose belief system, or more importantly whose afterlife is right? So are we going to live in muslims paradise with eternal sex, food, and nectar (sorry ladies!) or we are going to gather around Jesus and be his flock, where we split bread and wine, and who knows what else? The bottom line, it is all advertisements. Commercials. Nothing more. That’s why people are more and more depressed. What’s the point of all these education, job training, competition? Why, so that we can die? Do we die fulfilled? Is the next guy shagging women every other day but living 30 years shorter, is he happier? Or the women, why do you have to have someone special. Wait for the special one? In the end is it really that big of a deal? It is another cock after all. You have dreams, he was the one. And he acted the one. For many many years. In fact you were thinking the sex wasn’t all that great, but he was the one. Yet, one day he stopped to be the one. He became the other one. That’s when the world comes crushing down. That’s another advertisement. Advertisements that men all over the world put up to get into the pants of women. That simple. Nothing more nothing less. So why don’t we drop all the fancy make up and be what we are. Apes. When two persons eye contact each other, if they feel like why they can have sex right there and then. Just pure lust, and satisfaction, and then go their own ways. No commitment, no lies, no fake pretenses. Plain truth that we will eventually get separated. Either one of us going to get bored and walk away, or one of us going to die and live the other person alone. So if we have to have this random, pointless life; count our days while our mediocre planet rotates around the sun slowly why have whole another level of charades? Being with the one whom you are going to share your life. For what? So that he/she can leave you alone at some point. To feel betrayed? Is not enough to be miserable because we are alive? Do we have to add whole another dimension, perhaps a more complicated one? We seek some solace in this kind of relationship so that all won’t be lost. There will be a meaning in life. Yet we all die. We all leave people behind. And the ones left behind are not happy, in fact, subsequently for a long time they feel worse. They wish that they never got engaged in this relationship. Wish they never got their hopes high. They feel betrayed. The reason doesn’t matter. What matters is the feeling. Feeling of hopelessness, worthlessness, and being tricked and played. It goes on for a long time.

But the time is the operational keyword. The evolution that gave us brains, also made sure that they slowly, but surely decay. That’s why time heals wounds; time takes the edges off things. With time everything becomes the way they were, or at least you get that impression. Our brain cells are recycled as well –remember nothing, nothing on this world is lost, just recycled. Yes, they live longer, but not forever. Not as long as we do. We eventually loose information. We loose our memories in the same way a perfectly good tire looses air. It is the usual tear, nothing more. You don’t have to do anything. You loose memories. Some of them we want to loose and some we don’t but still loose. So, again what’s the point? We do not have a perfect recollection, no total recall. We sort of remember the sensation and have a vague recollection of things we did and said, but after all isn’t this similar to reading a book? You read something when you are a teenager, and 60 years later all you remember that you had great joy reading that book, and that’s it. If you are lucky to remember the heroine’s name you wouldn’t remember what she specifically said to her dying husband. You have a general idea that it is something about a deep love and care and whatnot. So when you are old and getting close to dying that’s what your entire life becomes, an old, read book. And quite depressingly it is a story that won’t be told ever again. Parts of it may. We hope to be a person that will be remembered in some ways. But the truth is, even if our story is remarkable –for must of us it isn’t– memory of the people is still not perfect. They will eventually loose information too. They will loose the precision of thing you have done, or said. The story is going to fade. From a 1000 page long novel, it will degrade to a 100 page novella, then it will become a 10-page short story, without you know, it is a 2-page bedtime story, and eventually a few words engraved on a marble. A few words, which are essentially the names of the line drawn from point A to point B in time. That’s it. That’s what is left from you after some 80-odd rotations (if you live in a developed country, if not much less) of earth around the sun.