well....im Emma.....i dont have much tew say tewday.....just kinda confused a lot....i like this guy rikki....but he lives in scotland i live in N.I. so nawt much can really happen there...i also like my best mate guy....weve kissed like 3 times in the past couple of weeks i dont really knwo whats goin on tew be honest im just tryin tew brush it off as just a kiss....im tryin real hard but ive liked him for like 2years and stuff has started happenin.....now i duno what tew do!

also i had a really bad day tewday now i feel fatter than i normally do....i ate like 600/700 calories....yesterday i ate 300ish....how good is that....thats like no food.....XD....yea i try avoid eatin and food....cuz it makes yew fat so dont eat dont get fat its easy.......but my parents have this thing where they make me eat.....it horrible....so i barely eat through out the day then have dinner...so less calories or if ive eaten a lot ill just make myself sick.....yea so im kinda messed up but lifes a bitch right we all have our nightmares this is mine.....we all have our prisons....again this is myn..but ill get thin...currently i am 150lbs which is awful....but i plan on gettin it down tew about 130lbs in the long run and 140 asap....cuz its awfulll.....but when i lie down i can almost see my ribs and my hip bones are visible....and my tummy is hard....i like my body shape when i lie down but i think im just naturally fat....its like impossible fer me tew get any thinner.....but atm im really tempted just tew go eat lotsa crap then throw up =[
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