Thoughts.com Blogs - friday night.

so for the past few weeks ive felt nothing but a little embarrassed at myself for all the things i do every night. i feel like i find myself simply surfing through facebook or talking online pretty much every night, which is pathetic. but tonight was different, and i am SO happy about that.

i got a text from glenn and he told me he was back in town and free tonight, so he wanted to go hang out, like we usually do when he's home from college. this time it was a bit different, just because the date had already been pretty hyped up with previous text messages about "get excited, i'm coming home." so we went to play putt putt, which sounds lame but i had a really great time. it may be one of the flirtiest activities you can take part in on a date... so it was pretty cute. then we went back to his house and watched some trashy tv, you know, the kind where everyone denies they watch it but secretly everyone does. however, we were only using the trashy tv as an excuse to cuddle on the couch, and it turned out quite nicely. we cuddled on the couch for a couple hours, seriously, and we were both on the verge of falling asleep. then i decide i should probably come home, just in case mom was waiting up for me. it was a good night, i'm quite content with how it turned out.

now, my conflict comes in. patrick is this guy that i'm sorta dating but sorta not at the same time. it's one of those things where neither one of us wants to make it official, but its also obvious that both of us would get jealous if the other one went out on a date. so it's kinda tricky to work out, and in all honesty i should probably just break it off. but i like having someone i know i can count on, usually, to have a good time, even though i dont think he's really right for me, he's more of a convenience than a pleasure sometimes. this sounds awful, but sometimes thats what summer needs, just someone to fill the emptiness. and theres no reason for me to fall head over heels for anyone right now, since i'm going away to college in the fall. so i know tomorrow morning i'll get a text from pat saying "so what did you do last night" and i wont know how to respond. here are my options
1. lie. tell him i was out with the girls, we went to play putt putt, it was a blast.
2. fib. tell him i went out with glenn but it was in no way like a date.
3. truth. tell him i went out with glenn and had a super cute time. (HA yeah right)
so i'm thinking number two is best. but whatever i could wimp out and just go for number one, even though my conscience will catch up with me sooner or later.

anyways. so that's the boy front on me, the new kid on the block here at thoughts.com. by the way, i hope no one i know reads this because i just want this to be a place where i can gather my thoughts as best i can.

now, about my friends: i have several close friends. i love them all dearly, but lately i feel like weve been growing apart. i think this is because we all know that college is coming up, and sometimes i feel like they already consider me far away. but the truth is, hello, i'm still here. and i still want to hang out and have fun and make more memories. we have a whole summer ahead of us but all the sudden college is the only thing we care about. and dont get me wrong, i totally brought this on myself, because i am SO excited about college, and i do talk about it/focus on it a lot. so now its basically like they consider me in college, rather than in my last two weeks of high school. it makes me kind of sad, but maybe it's for the better? hopefully tomorrow after caswell house it'll all be better. but whatever i dont want to force anyone to chill with me or anything.

it's late, and i'm tired. and i'm still happy with my night and how it turned out.

peace out