Those of you that know me as well on Facebook, have already heard the news. I have not had time today to sit down and write a blog, but updating the status is something done quickly.
This afternoon at 4:37pm (official TOD 6:20pm) my beloved grandmother Saundra went home to be with the Lord. No more pain and suffering, just peace.
This weekend has been a really exciting one. If you have not already noticed my photos popping up in the photo section, I have begun the quest to get as many items checked off of the T.com Scavenger Hunt list. I am excited; mom and I worked on it both Friday and Saturday.
I honestly think people in this city think my mom and I are certified crazy. I posed with a bonsai tree from a vendor on the side of the road; mom also took photos of me with statues and water fountains. I even knocked on the door of a stranger to ask them if I could get a photo holding their gnome! Oh it has been fun! I have more photos that I will upload later; I just didn’t have time today.
Saturday night I got to Grannys house around 6:30pm and stayed until after 2am. Just spending time with her, holding her hand, telling her I loved her and spent time with K. I came home and crashed, woke up several times this morning but made myself go back to sleep. Finally let myself get out of bed around 1pm and took a shower. Called K and asked him how Granny was doing and he asked me to lunch. I went over there, spent time with Granny and the very sweet day nurse that was taking care of her (along with crazy L who slept most of the day.) I talked to Granny although she could not talk back this time, no sounds except her heavy breathing.
I told her that I loved her and was holding her hand as K walked up to the bed. He held her other hand, told her he loved her and we were just quiet watching her and something in my spirit said “leave now, she doesn’t want family here when she goes” so I told K that we needed to go now. We walked together to my car and I told him that she would not be here with us when we got back, so if he wanted to stay yet be quiet so she doesn’t hear us, we could but she won’t be here when we get back. He said lets go so we went and got Chinese for lunch.
L, the care giver called when we were on the freeway about to exit for Grannys house and said that she is about to go, we were 10 minutes away from her house. She died before we got their and when we went in, we touched her hand, kissed her forehead and K looked at me and asked me how I knew. I reminded him of what I told him before we left, that something in my spirit said we needed to leave because she didn’t want any family there when she died.
May I vent a little here? Thank you. K and I made calls; I called my side of the family while he called her friends. I called my Mom first because I knew my sister Stef was at her sons last football game and Mom was there also. So I wanted Mom to be there when I called Stef as I knew she would take it hard. I called Stef and then I called my Dad (Grannys son).
When my dad answered, I asked him how he was, where he was and if he was doing ok. He asked me if I was there (his usual way of asking if I was at Grannys house) and I said yes, he asked how she was and I said “Dad, Granny is gone” and he said “well, I guess it was time, she isn’t hurting anymore” and said bye, love you and hung up. I was surprised as he didn’t ask anything else, just hung up.
Half an hour or so later, Dad calls K and tells K that nothing leaves the house, that he wants a meeting with K tomorrow to go over the will and everything because he doesn’t like how Granny set things up. Dad said that he wants everything that Granny left him and he is going to fight for everything else. Granny was not even cold yet and he was complaining and causing trouble. K asked me to be at the meeting with him and my Dad tomorrow and I will be.
Its now after midnight, I am home now although K asked me to stay the night tonight, without a nurse there, I could not do that. I will go back to his house in the morning but I could not stay with him without someone there. That is just me. He has called me a few times since I left his/Grannys house around an hour ago. I am sure in the coming days, I will need to write out my feelings, just not tonight. Tonight I am numb.
In case anyone recognizes them, some of the titles from my latest (mainly regarding Granny) blogs have been taken from a song by Nicole C Mullen called “The music of my heart”. The song has been playing nonstop in my head for almost three weeks now and even when I try to get another song stuck in my head, I cant, it keeps coming back. Had Granny not died today, this post would be called “The lyrics that I long to hear” as I miss hearing her whisper “love you” to me, I miss her voice. I miss hearing “hi baby” when I come in the house and greet her.
Thank you for reading me tonight, thank you for your prayers over the last few weeks and for being there for me. My friends here on Thoughts and even strangers, continue to show me what love is all about. I am grateful.
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