In a round about sort of way this day has been pretty interesting. Nothing exciting happened really; the day just seemed off a little.
Work was a bit productive, Boss1 left today for Europe for the weekend, he is going to a soccer game over there. I am having a little trouble with the heart of one of my coworkers. She lies to me and it hurts my heart. I wrote a long post about it at work (see why it was only a bit productive, I write at work) and forgot to send it to myself to finish or to post it so I will do that tomorrow when I go in.
I met my mom and stepdad for dinner and a movie tonight. We went to a studio movie grill type establishment and had dinner while eating. Honestly I find it distracting as you have to watch your food so that it doesn’t drip on you so you don't get to see part of the movie. I don't see rated R movies at all (sometimes one slips by but I try hard to be aware) and so tonight we went and saw the 3D version of A Christmas Carol. The movie was so awful, I am sorry if you like it but children should not be allowed to see that version. I am almost 33 and it scared the tinkle out of me. It was the first time I had ever seen a 3D movie before and it made me nauseous and I think I gave myself whiplash because I kept trying to follow scrooge around every bend when he was flying through the sky. Seriously, my neck hurts! Not a kids movie I tell ya.
K called before the movie to “hear my voice”. Funny how not being around him day in and day out has changed the way I feel about him a little bit. I am now surprised when he calls instead of delighted that he calls. He asked what I had planned for tonight and when I told him what I was doing, he said well he wanted to see me and I didn’t feel disappointed that we could not do anything together. Mind you, there is nothing going on between us as I have written so far but we were constantly together at Granny bedside and we naturally grew closer, especially with my silly empathetic heart, and now that we don't see each other for hours every evening… I don't know, seems like that the thoughts I had were correct to be had. He wanted a relationship but until we were not in a place where we were thrown together all of the time for a common sad purpose and the option for a relationship forged by common grief was gone, I didn’t want to have one. Now that we are not together all of the time, it doesn’t seem important to me to have a relationship with him. Have I lost my marbles? Am I even making sense here?
I miss Noni so much. I need to call her. Hold on. Danged, I got her voice mail. I pray she is doing well.
I am tired, mentally drained and I can not seem to catch up. You know what? It still has not hit me emotionally that Granny is gone. I have yet to cry. I feel sad sometimes but I can’t find the tears. Did I cry enough before she died? Is my heart cold?
It is only 8:30pm on Friday night and I want to go to bed right now. Someone left a blue cooler in my parking space tonight so I put a note out that if it is theirs, to call me on my cell. If they can tell me the contents (8 sprites and 4 small ice pack thingies) then they can have it. Now, don't be calling me telling me it’s yours. I won’t believe it. LOL
Love you mucho!!
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