After work, get outside and take a walk - even if the weather is crappy, just breathe deeply and enjoy the air. . .

I told myself I would just peak at thoughts and there was your post. I too am sitting at my desk and shedding some tears thinking about my week. I was drawn to your post and you spoke to me. I think this is exactly the place to say those feelings. No one is expecting you to be perfect on here. You made a comment about usually not posting when you feel like this but for some reason you did. I am glad you did. Silence is suffering and you had something, a fighting piece that broke through and wrote it out. You are very brave today. If I knew you any better I would say that I am proud of you, well I will say it anyway. I can relate to the feelings of being ashamed of feeling weak. I too in my situation feel the same way about my seperation, a failure and weak in some way. I know in my mind this is wrong but somewhere those feelings have serviced and my inner voice is saying that I need to be perfect all the time. To hell with that inner voice. Heather - only a beautiful person could release such vulnerability about their soul. Don't be ashamed. Love Moxi

i understand where you r coming from I used to be very deperssed i am not anymore, thank the Lord.....I can not remember a lot about my depression but I do know it was brought on due to I was teased a lot in school, I know I was suicidal but vagly remember that...so I understand

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being human:) We all are, we just all handle it differently. I unfortunately know exactly where you are coming from, have been there one too many times. We all have different experiences that bring highs and lows into our lives & those of us who already have the "chemical imbalance" going against us seem to have it even harder at times. pehageman is so right though try to get outside and just breathe and take in some sun. I am concerned about you having to change your medication though, I hope you will be out of your slump by then. It will take about 2 weeks for a new one to take effect so that will be really hard. Take care and I wish I could give you a hug:)

hi there brush the cobwebs away
wot u think blog it
we will read lol

I love you heather!! We are all human, and we all have our battles that we fight. I don't think that you're weak at all, you are simply YOU! I'd come give you a hug if I could. We could go grab some bbq, and sit up and chat all night long! :). Enjoy your weekend, relax and take your mind away from your worries.

You know how to get ahold of me, if you need to talk! :). **HUGS**

Hey there! Nothing weak about getting your low spots out and away from you. It takes a strong person to admit they're not perfect. It takes and even stronger person to admit when the need help. You need a hug? Here's one for ya - ****** HUGS ******

You're allowed to have your down days. We all love you just the same. It does not belittle you to admit to having some down days. IMHO It adds character and strenght to your persona.

Heather, you are loved girl. More then you'll ever know.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with admitting that your depressed, I know because it happens to me, and to tell the truth like you I don't admit it. I don't sleep well at all most nights, which probably doesn't help. But what I do do and what really helps is that I walk for about 7 klms each day. It's almost winter here now, so my morning walk is in the dark, so I have a little walk at lunch time.

I too would like to always be strong and like you people ask me to be strong for them, this I can't always do, but no matter how I feel I lend a hand. Big Hug to you.

Heather I hope you are well, keep smiling you are so beautiful when you smile.

******HUGS*******
there is nothing wrong with being depressed. (I know, I suffer as well)
everyone has their down days, and there is nothing that can be done about it except for having a good cry, and maybe talking it out with a friend. I hope you feel better soon
XX ~A

So, you opened this to comment anyway?:P

Two things I don't like reading...

"Medication is working well I think. Although I will be changing my medication once my new insurance starts and that has me a little scared."

--You know how I feel about this...

"I am ashamed of being thought as weak. All of my life, I have been strong for other people and if I appear weak, then they might not let me be strong for them anymore. Where is my purpose then?"

--What sense does this make? Unless you are a military leader and are having a mental breakdown when you are supposed to be leading troops into battle and thus need to be assisted or replaced...you are still human.

And, why must emotion be a sign of weakness? Well, what if it is? And? If we deny ourselves our emotions, do we not cause internal suffering or damage? By bottling the tears, do we not drag our feet longer and divide our attention? Only by dealing with the tears do we get past them. You can't hold back a flood forever. You have to deal with it. Re-route the water. Divert the sadness.

Sometimes I think I'd have less faith in a person if they were always so strong. I'd feel less of a person in their presence because they never "blinked". If they had no fears or things that made them cry, would I be able to trust them to understand my feelings? Can you be an expert driver yet never tell anyone you are and still talk to a NASCAR driver like an expert? Can Superman relate to Wonder Woman about stopping bullets if he never reveals himself under the guise of Clark Kent?

If you are trying to protect a secret identity, I will try to understand better why you don't ever want to be seen crying or depressed:P

How does a Christmas song just pop up??

This post was not entirely useless because it made you feel better like journals do. You simply feel self-conscious for exposing the emotional wound though you need the hug to let it out.

Obviously, you didn't go to your happy place ... your vacation home. I'm glad we talked and you are doing okay. HHHUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGSSSSSSSSS!! Love ya darlin.

Nothing wrong with being depressed and showing it. To me, that says you're human. You're one of the last people I would consider weak, and honestly I'm more willing to share myself with people who break down at times then those that don't just for the fact that it makes me feel that they'll really be able to relate. Think it also makes people closer because while it's good to be able to rely on someone when you're in need, it's equally good to know that others want to be able to rely on you.

And Heather, I think you're beautiful. You aren't ugly or plain. Everyone always judges themselves more harshly then what other people do-I know I do...But I wouldn't lie to someone I call a friend. =)

~Hugs Amazing Heather~