No funeral? Not even cremation? I cannot let someone dear to me go to science. That...I am short of words. That is just not cool. But, that seems to be the norm with your family. Always something that irks me.

The odd feelings you are having are a mix of the numbness after so much stress and grief...and the lack of closure. A funeral is like mass. A reflection and prayer time. A last farewell. A family get-together to say "thanks for the memories". For some, it's their place to weep. You wept, you helped her beyond the call of duty to the final day...and now it's done. You have done your part.

But, I still do not like the idea of just turning over her body after being so concerned about how people handled her recently. I'd make sure she had a proper burial or was cremated and do something special with the ashes.

Her written desires were honored upon her death. She expressed that a funeral, service, cremation or any other method of body disposal besides donating her body to medical science. Her mother also died of pancreatic cancer and so Granny feels that perhaps her body can be used to further research so that others may live instead of die as she did. Please don't ever ask me what I have denoted in my advanced directives. You might disown me. :)Thank you for being there for me last night when I needed to talk to someone.

each must grieve in their own way.. don't worry about following a "pattern"... and your Granny sounds like a practical woman.. and should be honored in her way..

Bless you Heather - it must all seem rather strange. I hope the funeral goes well and that your father does nothing to spoil it. Most of all I pray for peace to surround you all.