Thoughts.com Blogs - An Apology to my Heart

Dear Heart:

I know that this comes at the worst of times, when you need something more concrete than a mere letter.
But I am sorry for that idea and for not being able to fullfill it. Please, give me a precious moment to explain my reasoning and actions.
I know you trusted me with your feelings and thoughts. That you let me have all of your emotions and ideas. I understand that you feel like I did not live up to your expectations. And I am regretfull that you are overly right.
I can not hide from you what you allready know. I was trusted greatly by your imaginings, and now I have proven my unworth to you.
Please accept this apology as a dear and sencere request of reconciliation.
My simple and one task from you was to keep you beating slowly, steadily, until my body physically could no longer support you. But, you see, life does not always go as we see it fit to move with the tides of our minds.
I ran into situations, people, heart aches. I discovered dreams so deep and vast that I felt I could melt into our shared soul and never wish to escape. But you, I promise, were always that little voice bringing me back, struggling to remind me of my one and simple task.
And I have failed you.
I hope you can understand why I must seperate myself from you.
I can not continue to ignore the dreams and wonders I see in the world within me. I can not wake up each morning to discover I have to return to a dark and stark reality because of your caring and careful nagging.
I awake too many times in tears from a cut short, sweet, painfully longed for dream.
So I must terminate this relationship quickly and soon.
I promise the pain will not last long. You will probably be given to someone who deserves you more than such a dreamer like me.
Please, heart, do not take this in the wrong way. I know you look out my eyes disdainfully at the sharp metal in my shaking grasp. But it will be okay for you. I do this for your own good. I have caused you too puch pain as is. You will be free to go to another body, another soul to share who's own heart was not good for them. Let them know that I did what I thought was best.
It is just a small cut, please understand. The pain will be more for me than you. You shall hardly feel it or realize what is happening.
Let the world know that I did this because dreams now seem so much more tempting that anything I have ever known. I do not wish it has to end this way, but I see no other glowing exit, and I do not wish to race through this maze any longer. I am lost and confused, and this exit seems good enough.
I will cherish our memories, our time, your trust and faith in me.
The pain's not so bad now that it is upon me. Sure the light grows dim. But I'm okay.

I will remember you in my now never ending dream...

Goodbye, my heart. Thanks for being the one to trust me.

Sincerely, me.