I didnt know that you could have such a broken heart and sitll be totaly involved with someone. I didnt know that you could feel alone when you are sleeping next to the person you love more than life its self. I guess I should tell yall whats up. My fiance broke off our engagment. It hurts soo bad but I am trying to cope. I will be ok I just didnt know that a broken heart could truely hurt my heart...I have never felt like this before. I am more scared that he is going to leave now...More than before. Not that being engaged was a secure not walking away policy. It would just be harder to walk away. I guess it's just that when he did that all of my pas came back...All the things that I was trying to push away all of those feelings of loss and depression...Those that I couldnt feel for almost 3 years. I guess that vin wasnt ready for all of my baggage. He was ready to handle someone who had no emotion or thoughts about anything for 3 whole years. I wasn't alloud to and I thought that I could open up to him...and It was too much to handle on top of stress from work, and getting ready to go to a school he doesnt even want to attend.  I feel bad that I have put him through so much...But when you have had so much shit like I have...Some times you cant hide that pain with a smile anymore. Its all good I guess. I dont know what I was thinking anyway...That I was finaly going to have my fairy tale...That someone would finally excepte my flaws...and how much I was keeping inside...and still marry me and love me forever...Who knows...maybe he will come around...maybe he will realize what he has done and re-instate the engagment. I dont know and I am tired of caring...I am tired of crying...I am tired of being tired..
Vickie

Ps: We are still together...Just not engaged anymore...I dont know wich is worse...Knowing he is going to leave...or him really leaving......