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We are at the cliff in the forest. I watch her glow in the sun, thinking of things I wouldn't understand. It doesn't bother me.
We aren't so different, I and her. We both adore the sunset, it's where we met. Some day, a long time ago now, I looked to the sky for answers. As I still do. The sky was glowing. Glowing in vibrant red, it was pulsating. It drew me to it. I knew there was bliss at the cliffs.
How I ended up at the cliff, I don't know. I lost track of time as I walked through the forest with my eyes locked on the red clouds which were floating peacefully amongst eachother. Welcoming the light. Somehow, I found myself next to her. I had never in my life seen such a gorgeous lady. She was everything I wanted her to be, it's even crazy for me to say it, because I do not know what I want. I am lost within myself, and now I had finally found something within her.
I stopped to look at the sky anymore, I didn't feel I had to. Everything I had seen in the sky I saw in tenfolds within the depths of her eyes. However I blushed. I never blush, not even if I emberass myself anywhere, I didn't even know the consept of blushing until that very moment when my eyes turned away from the heavens and down onto that gorgeous lady.
She never looked at me, not that night. She was fixated on the red clouds, allowing me to bask in her reflection. How I love those memories. For those thirty minutes or so, when the sun was teasing the clouds and she was in perfect bliss. Smiling an everlasting smile, I felt complete.
She took her chanses, her feet were dangling out from the border of the cliff. The earth around her slowly falling to the ground. She didn't notice. And in all to few seconds, that gorgeous lady cut her life all too short. But her smile was everlasting.
The sound she made was none. Nothing came from her sweet lips and I never thought of it. I never thought saying something about anything for those moments. For those moments when I were complete.
The brown dirt tingeling, the green gras shivering. And the birds song fluent. My lips were sealed, forcing me to say nothing. My eyes were locked, forcing me to see everything. However my legs did nothing, nor did my arms or fingers. I never touched her, but I knew that I had felt her. Felt her more than any other man ever had. Ever could.
She never stopped to look, looking at the clouds playing with eachother. And the sun teasing them. If only I hadn't stopped looking.
No sounds were made, only the loss of noise. Noise from the birds song. Noise from the boats engines. Noise from her pulse and her breath. The loss only contributing to the effect.
I couldn't do it. The lady was too perfect, too beautiful. My eyes could never stop looking. and all too soon there was nothing too look at. Only the yellow light of the moon. Telling me it's all my fault.
The lady never looked back. On her way down her head was the only thing changing position. And in the midst her feet were still dangling. Her smile everlasting.
Here I am, walking between the woods. I live in a hut deep within the forest. It's hard
It is hard getting there, and while you are there there is nothing you want more then to get away. Get away from the people, the noise, the troubles.
Sometimes I forget. I loose track of time and place. I forget who I am, what I am. Where I am supposed to be. Where am I going to?
During the day life is hard. Noone is here. I am by myself. I work in the yard. Plow the fields and fish under the cliffs. Sometimes I throw their guts off the cliff.
I am lonely. I am by myself. I wouldn't have it any other way. I work by myself and I relax by myself. The life I'm leading is hard, and unrewarding.
My only comfort is the night, and the evening.
During the night I sleep. There is no one better for this is how I want it to be. Everlasting sleep. I do not read on my bed, I don't have the time for such luxuries, I don't take my time brushing my teeth or washing my hands. Those matters are reserved for others. All I do is work and sleep. It is, difficult.
I have a comfort. A fortress of solitude where I can lay all my worries away and relax.
Once in a blue moon the clouds gather above the cliff, and the sun tease them with its soft touch.
I loose track of myself then, and all I do is smile, smile for those moments when the heavens are calling for me.
I walk amongst the trees, I don't notice them, only when I look back I remember. I look at the clouds playing with eachother, and the sun that teases them. And all I feel is envy.
Envy of their ignorance. Envy of their bliss, envy of their very excistance and how they can soar freely beneath the heavens.
Each time I end up at the cliff. It draws me to it. I am not my own master anymore.
I sit down, for an eternity and all I do is smile, smile an everlasting smile.
I sit down on the cliff, I rest on it, and it feels good. But I do not notice it. Only when I look back I remember.
I look at the envious skies, how they look down on me and I up at them. And we are both separated, each longing for the other.
I have been preparing for this moment for far too long, and there is no stopping it. The brown dirt trembles beneath me, and I accept it.
The gras shivers alarmingly, and there is still time.
I feel outside of myself, and I am looking into my eyes. How I smile, how happy I am.
I freeze. There is no way out. I am looking to the clouds, whom are playing with eachother. Welcoming me into their group. I am fixated on them and can't move.
I look at myself. My eyes are locked and I feel nothing but bliss, and I know that it is too late.
I am locked, I do nothing to prevent anything. I am finally accepted, I have a purpose. A meaning and I do nothing than look into my eyes.
The brown dirt dissappears below me, and I smile even more. I look deep into my eyes and see the reflection of the skies. For my smile is everlasting.
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Posted by harriboy on 2008-05-11 18:01:11 | Rating: | Views: 1702
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