Having worked in the hospitality industry for many years I have encountered quite a few habits and behaviours on the part of hotel guests that are, shall we say, less than endearing.  Drawing on this wealth of experience I've developed a few, easy to follow rules that should be applied to all hotel guests:

1. If the checkout time is 11am then that means the checkout time is 11am, not 11:30am or 12noon so be out by 11am.  Violators will have an alarm clock duct taped to their forehead for future reference.
2. If you are in a non-smoking room then don't smoke in it.  Violators will have a complimentary carton of cigarettes inserted in a bodily orifice of their choosing.
3. If the pool closes at 10pm then that means the pool is closed.  Don't try sneaking in afterwards.  Violators will have an electrical appliance thrown into the pool to liven up their late night swim.
4. If there is a no parking zone don't park in it.  It doesn't matter if you're just unloading your vehicle.  It says No Parking.  Violators will have their vehicles conveniently relocated to a more secure location; i.e. the impound lot.
5. Don't drink and gamble in the lobby, hallways, etc.  They are not casinos or night clubs.  Violators will be redirected to the "hospitality room"; i.e. the drunk tank of the local police department.
6. When you get pissed off because I'm telling you that you're not allowed to do something don't tell me that you spent a lot of money for your room(s) because, no matter how much you spent, you're not worth the hassle you're causing me.

Oh, and if you have any complaints feel free to file them with the Complaints Department.  It's the paper shredder in the corner there.