When you're depressed it feels like you've been deflated.  Someone has stuck a needle deep into you, drawn out your life's blood, then pressed deeper and gone right down to the bone and pulled out the marrow too.  You feel a little wobbly, you can't quite stand on your own two feet so you retreat.  You retreat to your room, retreat to your bed, draw the covers up over your head and sleep.  Black it all out.  Black out the world and try to get comfortably numb.

If you're lucky you can sleep, if you're not you stay awake and wonder and think.  You think about the failures of your life, of the many missteps you have made.  You get angry at yourself for feeling the way you do, for not having accomplished more, for not living up to your potential, for not living up to the expectations you or others held for yourself.  You try to distract yourself, find some alternative to sleep that will allow you to turn your mind into a void so you don't have to think.. perhaps TV, after all it is an idiot box a lot of the time... but no, even that mindsucking device can't distract you for too long.

When you're depressed your stuck in this sort of no man's land between introversion and extroversion, leaning first in one direction than the other.  Part of you wants to draw inwards and leave the world behind.  You're a failure and others will surely see that if they encounter you so why would you want to see other people?  And if you see other people they will be able to tell you are depressed and will pity you for being weak and defective and you don't want pity.  That just reminds you that you're not normal, a reject, a failure.  Then again, you want to talk to someone and offload all the crap that tumbles through your mind and weighs down your heart like a tonne of bricks.  You want someone to understand, to tell you that it's alright, you're not a failure, you're normal... although chances are you won't believe it even if they do say that.

Depression is a deep dark pit and it seems that no matter how many times you claw your way up and out of it you always seem to hang around nearby for some reason and every once in a while you end up slipping and falling back in for another visit.