I've been feeling a little overwhelmed lately.  Sometimes I just feel like I would like the world to stop so I can get off and have a breather.  I've been working a lot with not much time off and I'm getting burnt out.  Plus, soon I have to start applying for my student loan in order to pay for the fall and I'm kind of worried about it.  Actually I'm worried about school in general.  I'm a pretty obsessive person.  I like to have everything planned out in advance, to know exactly what I'm getting into and know the lay of the land in advance.  However, although I know I'm intelligent and academically inclined, there is so much about university that I am not familiar with that it makes me nervous.. I have to do scheduling, pick electives, apply for loans, apply for grants, etc. etc.  And the fact that I'm going to be so much older than the other students also makes me feel rather self conscious.

Additionally, because the diploma program I'm entering is in police and justice studies it will have physical components.  I know I am not in the best of shape and that makes me nervous too.  I'm working on that though.  As I mentioned before I started a program of walking and have lost some weight.  Well, yesterday I went to a private training studio for the first time and had a session with a personal trainer.  I purchased a package of 12 sessions for $700 and will be going twice a week for 6 weeks, plus doing some exercise on my own time too.

My first session was not too much fun.  First of all I had to work a night shift the night before and I had only managed to get a few hours sleep.  Also, I had been in a hurry to get there once I woke up so I skipped breakfast.  After an hour of working out I was getting pretty warm and had some water which evidently wasn't a good idea because I immediately became nauseous and had to vomit.  It was over quickly and wasn't too painful but still... I'm guessing that's an indicator I'm not in very good shape.

On the positive side I learned that I'm an inch taller than I thought I was.  To start off the training program the trainer measured my height, weight, blood pressure, etc.  I'm 6'1" apparently whereas I always thought I was just 6 feet.  I guess the last time I bothered to measure my height was when I was 19 or 20.  I figured I would've been done growing by then ... but either I grew an inch or she measured me incorrectly.

It's almost time for me to start working another night shift at the casino.  Actually the union at the casino held a vote yesterday on whether to accept a new collective agreement or not.  I am not sure what the result is; I haven't heard.  I'm thinking that it might've been rejected though because the last contract offer was rejected by over 80%.  If it has been rejected it means that I will be going on strike soon.

Not sure how I feel about going on strike.  On the one hand, I wouldn't mind having some time free from work because I have been working a lot and I still do have a second job (although it doesn't pay as much and the hours are not reliable).  However, on the other hand, I need money and if we go on strike I suspect that my income may be dropping... I've heard it said that I would be eligible for strike pay if I did picket duty but I'm not sure how picket duty works... does it go by seniority??  I'm one of the most junior members in the union since I just joined so, if they assign picket duty by seniority, I might not get any time on the picket line and then I wouldn't earn any strike pay.

Oh well, I guess time will tell.  At least it's summer now.  Longer days, warmer weather and, best of all, no more snow.