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What I Am Going To Do First...

So New Year has come... 2008. I didn't go anywhere at all and stayed at home, finishing Mass Effect (one of the best Science Fiction RPG Action game ever for 360!). When it was 12am, fireworks from a distant pop and plunge for about just 15 minutes or less. For two years straight I spent my time with my ex at a shopping mall with a group of friends. It was loud and it was as always, people having fun. That was two years ago. This year, I spend facing a TV Screen. It wasn't that bad actually though... because now... I have peace. And it was a relaxing one. Of course, I receive two SMS from two friends. One from Jac whom wishes me, another was my friend Fiona whom have MS wishing me the best. Oh yes, another from an internet friend. Before then, I receive a few from other friends while the rest was from email.

Oh... forgot to mention that I type one email wishing everyone on New Year's Eve afternoon and what I am going to do. A plan that I have been thinking of doing it for a long time... to change and be better. I'm doing this because I want what's best for me and not showing it to everyone. A day I will live alone that I don't want to depend on anyone... even love. I have had it. My ex was my last... and I don't want to look for love of any kind. Emotions tend to blind a person without looking at the mirror and realize what you have been missing all your life... and that was it. Thankful, she had been the best and change my life... but she also hurt me the most that she can't decide who she wanted to be with. I've shown her so many things in life... and yet, what she couldn't understand and waited was... me.

Hesistation is what got me to realize I have lost her. But then again, maybe it was meant to be. No, it is meant to be.

So now, 2008... what am I going to do? Simple... a plan that will take at least 3 to 5 years. 3 to clear the mess left behind I've made because I paid too much attention of taking care of the person I love and not myself. So fixing that will require 3 years... maybe less. But during that time I will be doing what I want to do... be more independent and not rely on love. So the first thing I need is picking up skills. I have told this to one group of friends I have been hanging out lately that this is what I want to do. They understood and respect my decision that I will be not in contact with them for a long time. I hope I succeed and when I do, at least I will be the one I'm proud of of myself and not showing to anybody else. I am capable... and one day, I'm out of Malaysia for good...

Here's to a fresh start. Being 30 (soon to be 31) is really a start of everything... life begins at this age...