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| suck n swallow the follow up
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For those of u that read my suck and swallow blog this is a follow up. All the comments that i got back agreed with me that he shouldnt make me suck and swallow to stay with me. He still thinks im not right in the head because i disagree so im thinking if i should let him read that blog.
Do you think that if he reads the comments those of you left him he might see hes the one in the wrong? To have people all over the world comment what he is doing is wrong, he might understand that he is in the wrong. I dont know tell me what you think,
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Posted by hails on 2007-09-01 08:19:31 | Rating: | Views: 323
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Love is not conditional. He'll love you if you perform some sex act that he wants? That is utterly selfish and manipulating. That is not love. He will not change no matter how much you think you can love him. He will not change. He is using you. Pure and simple.
And the conditions he has placed upon you is so very shallow and superficial. I don't think he is capable of loving anyone. Why would you want to be with someone that is so very shallow and selfish? It's not about whether he knows he is wrong. He doesn't care whether he is wrong. He doesn't care because he is not coming from a place of love. His place is self-serving and manipulating. This is not love.
You deserve so much better. He will not change. YOu will end up leaving him at some point. Better now, than later. By later, you waste so much precious time. Life is short.
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Posted by Jesusmyvision
on 2007-09-01 10:34:47
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Your partner isn't going to change. He needs to appreciate you for even thinking about what he said to you, when what he really needs is to be dumped on his ass.
Love is give and take, and compromise, but ALWAYS with respect and consideration. There doesn't seem to be much respect going on here. You deserve a relationship where your partner respects you.
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Posted by Willima
on 2007-09-01 10:58:05
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print it off and say u were browsing the net. He is a arse! u shud jus bite his u no wat off and then see wat he says. anyway hails... time to put ur foot down gurl! u jus gotta follow ya heart and u disagree so dnt let him push u about. speak 2 you soon sweet. x x x sarah - louise x x x
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Posted by Sparkle
on 2007-09-01 17:58:20
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I have this insane knack for commenting on all the wrong posts... *sigh* Makes me feel like I'm butting in, but this one was one of those that I just had to get my two cents in.
I don't know all the details, but you said this man has kept you hidden for years. I checked out your age, and if my math is correct you met him when you were still a minor. Granted, I don't know how old he is but I'm assuming he's an older "gentleman". If so, he's probably not too keen on admitting to the world that he was robbing the cradle. I see some other issues that may be hidden somewhere behind your story but those may just be my imagination working overtime. Was he married when you started your relationship? Is he truly divorced now?
Moving onto the sexual things he insists you do to prove your love... all I can do is gag. Men are great at this, aren't they? They can just slam the entire meat of a relationship to revolving around their... well... meat! As if there is no other possible way for you to prove you care for him. Gotta tell ya sweets, men who emphasize sex to the point that your man does are worthless.
The tragedy is that, from my perspective, he thinks that he's got his young chippy around to do his bidding. You're in love and he's taking advantage of that. I've been there, done that. I've given and given, while my ex took and took. At the end of the day he was happy and I was miserable. But I looooved him. *snort* The thing was, when I sat down and physically wrote out what I loved about him and what I hated about him, the hate won out. I remembered what had made me love him in the first place, but he didn't have those qualities ANYMORE. So really I was hanging on to a memory. It was kindof a slap in the face, but it was the jolt I needed to get up and get gone.
I don't think you're going to do the situation any good at all by letting this guy read your blog. So a zillion people across the world agree with you... Big whoop. At the end of the day that's a zillion people who don't know you, your situation, or have a vested interest in the advice they spout. Me included. What you have to do is handle the situation based on your own feelings. Whether we think he's a prick or not is irrelevant. What WE think doesn't change how you feel. You've got to stand up for yourself with only yourself as your witness. It's hard and it sucks, but at least you can be assured that you're not letting yourself be used or abused in any way. Talk to him. Don't let him make you feel guilty for your feelings. If he loves you, he'll work with you. If he's interested only in what you can do for him, quit wasting your youth and work on finding someone worth your love. Good luck sweetie... It's hard but your dignity is worth it!
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Posted by himaintenance
on 2007-09-02 01:27:53
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omg himaintenance you are the smartest person ive met on this site. You got it right. I hadnt actually got to that part of my relationship on this yet but yes we started off gaving an afair. Guess i can start my new blog now
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Posted by hails
on 2007-09-02 01:37:47
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I wish I could say, "Yeah, that's right... I'm brilliant"! The truth is that I've been around the block... twice... and earned insight through pain. Sometimes the lessons that leave the greatest impressions are the ones learned through hard battle. My family and friends all told me what I was putting myself through with my ex and I offered up every excuse in the book, telling them they didn't understand MY situation.
It took me a year of progressing anger to finally realize that I didn't deserve what he was dishing out. Finally the hurt got to be so extreme that it was pure "survival" to just get out. Sometimes emotional abuse is so much more destructive than physical abuse. At least you can put a band-aid on the outside wounds. But how to treat the wounds of your soul? The answer that I came up with was that I had to put myself first. If I couldn't love myself enough to be good to myself, how in the hell did I think anyone else could? I'd heard that before, but it didn't make sense until it was my own epiphany. People feed on what you project, and if they feel you not caring about yourself they are apt not to care. It's a strange and vicious cycle. *shrug*
I don't know you, hon, but I do know this to be true of everyone. You are worthwhile. You have unique thoughts and dreams that are important to the world. Nobody should have the power to quiet them or force you to disown them. You deserve to feel good about yourself every day. You don't deserve to fear being who you are. Oil mixes with oil, and water mixes with water. Oil and water, however, don't do so hot in the same container. It doesn't mean either one is wrong, and it doesn't mean either one is useless... they just belong with their own kind to be effective. Let him take his oil elsewhere and find your water to mix with. You'll feel good. Me, I ditched the oil and am on a half-assed search for my own water. It'll come... it's gotta rain sometime!
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Posted by himaintenance
on 2007-09-02 13:43:23
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Love is not conditional. No siree Bob!
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Posted by koy
on 2007-09-02 13:55:19
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Love is not conditional. No siree Bob!
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Posted by koy
on 2007-09-02 13:55:21
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Not suck and swallow for gods sake this is a family channel
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Posted by koy
on 2007-09-02 13:56:11
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I would be looking for water too but I'm not thirsty anymore... I'm over water for while, I'll take scotch thanks.
LOL
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Posted by loveBITES
on 2007-09-03 10:03:27
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