Haapykat,

You husband obviously has problems. If you wait around until he "solves" them, you will most definitely not be a "haapykat". Any of us who look to someone else to find our happiness are in especially vulnerable places.

Assume that your husband will never change for the better. What would you do with that information? Where would you then go for happiness? What would your chances for true happiness be if you went to that place? If happiness is your goal, then go to that place. Before you go, make sure you think it really has a fighting chance of satisfying you or else, it might be easier to just stay where you are.

My heart goes out to you. I wish for you true happiness. Your husband is a poor "hero", but then there are really not many hero's out there today. I have a saying that I would like to share with you. "We have in this life what we settle for; nothing more and nothing less." Don't settle!

There is a true hero out there for you. Someone who knows exactly what you need and can bring out the best in you. The real deal. He can handle all the "crap" that you bring to the relationship and help you move forward. In order to meet him, you will have to make some changes. The problem is, what would be in that relationship for him? Wouldn't he be entitled to your best?

Just a thought. Hope you find him.