I miss him,
And sometimes it makes me physically sick.
The thought of us,
Escaping this fucked up reality.
Holding hands,
We used to jump in the deep end.
It’s dark out now,
And I wander the same pools edge that we jumped into.
Alone,
My white dress fading,
like the ghosts of our past.
Tracing the suicide marks on my arms,
Life without you seems so long.
You told me that you loved me and that you cared,
Promising that you would always be there.
Liar,
You thought of yourself when you ran.
Tears that kiss my cheeks,
When the memories splash by.
Broken mirrors,
Shaking hands,
I just don’t understand.
How could you stand in front of my face,
Tell me that you would take me from this nightmarish place;
Back away and die on me.
The spell of our love has died,
And your body lies,
On some abandoned riverbank.
Our pool of dreams,
You didn’t want to taint;
So you drowned yourself in some dirty place.
Tell me love,
How the pit feels.
Without all the anger and tears,
I never knew what controlled this want.
Sometimes I lay in my tub,
Submerged myself under the lukewarm waters.
Sit while,
Pain,
Like pricks of pins;
Bite me.
Strings,
No longer attached
On our package of life.
Mirror,
Echo my fears;
The depths of despair stare me in the face.
Ending,
This is not the way it was supposed to end.