Yup, I work at Tesco. Glamorous stuff. But I'm not really writing about my job right now, I just want to ask this of you lot who come and shop there;
Right, you lot. When you come to my till, I don't want to smile or be polite or talk with you about your boring fucking day or even particularly want to help you pack, but I will because Mr. Tesco pays me £6.30 an hour to do it, and I don't mind that because it provides me with beer tokens. But pleeeeaase people, if you're going to attempt to be funny, please try and be a bit original. Example; an old guy came to me the other week with a massive 5 litre bottle of cheap vodka and said "that's it, I've had enough". He probably wasn't even joking when he said it and may now be dead or in hospital, but at least he made my day a little bit more interesting.
In a 9 to 5 daytime shift not including breaks I typically spend maybe 15-20 minutes not serving someone. It's relaxing. And when you come to me and loudly proclaim "you look a bit bored so I'll come to you. Can't have you doing nothing ahaha" like you're the wittiest fucker this side of Hong Kong, yes, I will give you a nice big fake smile, but know this; you say this to me at least 20 times every day, and behind the eyes I'm punching your big ugly comedian head into a million pieces. YOU'RE NOT FUNNY
So don't do it, please? Over.
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