Its been a long time since I've written anything here.  If there is anyone that  reads my blog, they might of thought I was gone forever!! But I have been busier than usual for the past several months. 

  I went back to school in January and  completed my first semester last month.  Im taking the summer off and will go back in the fall. I'm pursuing a nursing degree, but I have to take a lot of prerequisites before I can even get on the waiting list.  Thats okay, I have time.  I have one more kid at home and wont be able to attend the clinicals that are required as part of the nursing program until she is in school anyways.

My marriage is still a joke.  Yesterday was our anniversary and I spent it lying around with a headache.  Sunday night I went to check my email and when I logged on to hotmail, J's email account came up. He had changed his password a few weeks back so when it popped up on the screen I decided to go through his emails.  I found emails between him and a coworker that were really inappropriate.

He wrote stuff like " do you miss me yet... I want to give you a hug"  and  " I was serious about taking you to lunch... I will MAKE TIME" ... and  " I'm a very affectionate person.... you will get all the attention you need...cant wait to have you in my arms"....

Anyways Im reading all this and IM not surprised because thats who he is.  I asked him about it and he has nothing to say. He said nothing happened between him and this coworker  (who by the way is married and her husband works there too).  I told him it was bad enough that he wrote those emails, even if nothing happened.  This is the reason I dont go to his work related functions and why I dont like going out in public with him.  BECAUSE HE IS A MAN WHORE! And his behavior embarrasses me.

I told him I was only here because I dont have any money to take care of myself and the kids. I told him that once I started working again, I didnt want to be married to him anymore.

He knows all this.  And the reason he doenst go ahead and kick us out or whatever is because he knows he has a lot to lose financially.

He is sorry and all that. And Im too tired to fight about it. I wish I had gone back to school sooner.  Same old shit as always, ha. 

BUT I am glad that my kids are out for summer break and I dont have to be waking up so early anymore.