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Dear God,
Thank You for all of your Blessings and Grace.
Thank you for my sister Colleen in Cairo
Thank you for Kitty
(The homeless crack addict who called my sister while I was in a week long black out waiting and hoping to die)
Thank you for my mind, which by all rights should be gone.
(Maybe it is gone and I just don't know it)
Addiction is a progressive disease of the body, mind & spirit.
A disease I thought I had control of because I had 20 years of abstinence.
I abstained, I went to meetings and I prayed.I thought bad things couldn’t and would not happen to me because I am different.I am smarter than the average bear,
I was happy intermittently. But oh was I WRONG
MY battle addiction had progressed as my reasonable thought process diminished.
I can tell U...
I had been on a coke & crack run for about 8 months shooting and smoking.
In the last 2 months I had an inheritance over $15000.The money was gone and so were the drugs.
But what baffled me was so were my PLAYMATES
I could not believe it. I had absolutely no drug friends to play with.
I had been told and never believed this could really happen to me.
I was so lonely and angry,
I knew I was an addict this is what addiction does but I still did not really believe it.
So in my brilliant wisdom and thought processes I decided God did this it was all his fault!
I was a fearful of death but my battle with life had worn me out.
I did not know what to expect from the other side but I did not care.
I thought I was done with this world and I making an attempt to get off this rock called earth.
I put the vial of 55 kolonopins the big ones to my lips and swallowed them all in less than 5 seconds.
I threw the vial into the canal to dispose of it and laid down in the weeds and dirt ready to go.
I do not know what happened for the next week.
I did not see any bright lights and I did not have any conversations God or Jesus that I remember.
I do not know why I did not die.
But as I came to apparently I had been existing and walking about the town for about a week in a black out and during that time Kitty had contacted my sister.
All the possessions I had left to my name were the clothes on my back and the grace of God.
I was blessed to find my sister who was willing to come get me and help me start again.
Now through the grace of God and the help of my sister I have started my new life in Cairo, Georgia
This is Roger's Dear God Blog I am gr8ful to be in Georgia with another shot at life and I will be sharing my prayers with the world.
Dear God as I extend my right foot to take my next right step please guide to do next right thing."It is my desire to help others and make this world a better and more loving place. Please teach me how to achieve this, if it is your will.
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Take my will and my life Guide me in my recovery, show me how to live.
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