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| so im sitting in my new boyfriends room right now
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tucked away in the corner.. its earlier here on the west coast. Wow he looks so sweet. Like I could just eat him.
I think im falling in love... but then again i dont think i know what i am getting myself into... I just want love
you all know me by now.. you know what i am missing in my life. But is having it the answer either?
This boy I have been seeing.. we have spent every night together for like the past 2 weeks..
I really thought hed never call.. I really thought I was just a piece of ass to him when I first slept with him.
I thought to myself after sleeping with him.. i loved it.. i finally got off for real this time and it felt so good inside to not feel used up by some old man again.. but then again whats the difference when its a younger man? Hes 20 and Im about to be 23 this week. Yea, thats right, Im creeping up on my bday... I dont know if Ive told you my real age or not but I am about to be 23. My boyfriend likes guitar, he loves his friends, he loves making videos, hes beautiful to me really... but you can tell hes not happy with himself. His best friend died like about 7 months ago.. and hes still not over it. He told me he had a problem taking pills during this hard period in his life.. things like o see's, and just pills galore in general.. so it sucks. You think someone is a positive thing for you until you see all the dark. Or maybe hes just not mature enough to understand my complicated life. Maybe no one is... maybe no one ever will. But maybe I can find someone dumb enough to stay beside me despite how much work I really am.. he doesnt love me,.. he tells me he is.. hes not falling in love with me though. How could someone fall in love with me? Or maybe I should ask how the fuck can i fall in love anymore? Fuck me, fuck this city, as I say over and over again, this city will end up spitting me out into the fucking gutter. No more love for bella.. not here. I wont find solace in his arms. He hasnt fucked me and got off for two days and im starting to wonder if he really cares anymore. Its only been a few weeks and im disappointed? oh lord this can not be good. where am i at? well in school horribly. I havent got this class at all. My one class is so hard and i got a fucking 50 on my midterm and i only have like two project in for my other class when theres like 10 due. And for some reason, im distracted. Im sorry I need love right now.. fuck can the world just slow down for five god damn minutes so i can fucking catch up. Its like thers not enough time for me to go to school, have a bf, keep up with my roomies and all my friends. fuck, im over it. Im so lost in my head right now.. way too many emotions. And its getting harder everday.. i hope you understand im at a worse point than before... i did at least find love but.. is it real? please help me out here.
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Posted by goodlovebadlove on 2008-06-01 16:34:30 | Rating: | Views: 71
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I think its cute that you like him. I am in the same situation totally crushing on this guy, and thats not lke me. You only live once girl, we are bound to get hurt sometime or another.
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Posted by MiXiE3stp
on 2008-06-01 16:52:57
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