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Just one conversation with a woman

Hello all. For today's blog, I simply put in a conversation I had with friend of mine on gchat. I submit it for your viewing, because for a while, it was just a stream of consciousness while she worked on a paper. Which can be very revealing about a person's character. So maybe you'll learn more about me today. Or maybe not. Only by reading further will you know for sure....

[Kate's status message read "paper."]

9:46 AM me: ha
paper
oh moult
so young
so naive
kate: shut up
9:47 AM me: no dice
kate: cant talk
gotta write
me: do a line, youll be done in no time
kate: k
9:48 AM me: ooohhhh
my gut
9:50 AM pooin it up here boss!\

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5 minutes

9:56 AM me: the noise was deadening
*deafening
9:58 AM kate: are you at work?
me: yup
9:59 AM kate: k
me: why??
kate: jw
i gotta go
youre stifling my concentration
me: due to my humorous observations?
10:00 AM kate: no i dont even understand what you said
me: when
kate: i gotta get this done asap
talk to yourself
me: ok, leav eyour window open
ill continue to write to you but you dont have to read it
10:01 AM its more for myself than anything
10:02 AM the past few days ive been real antsy this time of day at work....i wonder why
apples are a very overrated fruit
give me a pear any day
10:03 AM sometimes when im at strip clubs, i get to thinking about the fact thjat at one point these girls were little
they were 5, 6, 7 years old
they wanted to grow up and be models and dancers
10:04 AM well, not that kind of dancer
so i guess, mission accomplished if you think about it the right way
dancing and getting all sorts of male attention
a dream come true
if i was a broad i wonder if i owould be a stripper
10:05 AM good possibility
so when i was 18, we went out in buffalio for a friend of mines 21 bday
natuarally we made it to the strip club around 2am for the last couple rounds
10:06 AM walking in, i went up to the bar and order a round, when a stripper turned to me and was all excited, and said "oh my god! you!
i know you! where do i know you from?"
and i shruugged my shoulders and said "iunno"
10:07 AM and she was like "no, realluy, weve met before, i know you!...whats your name?"
me: "iunno"
because i really didnt know, i was so drunk at that point
10:08 AM so then we walked into the main room, where i subsequently ran into 2 of my coworkers and our boss
10:11 AM if i wasnt lactose intolerant, i wonder if i would eat more cereal
10:12 AM definitley more iced cream
and it IS ice"d" not ice
10:13 AM it is cream which has been iced
i wish i cuol dbring a dog to work
id be hangin out with him right now
i wonder what id name him
10:14 AM well, fluff-puff is gonna be my chinchillas name
so lets see
maybe albatros
sounds kinda like arbys
whistle!
her arbys!
10:15 AM *here

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28 minutes

10:43 AM me: i wonder if pussy is high in calories?
if so, that would explain my recent weight loss
10:44 AM kate: fucking gross
me: watch what you say
i might copy and paste this entire conversation into my blog
10:45 AM kate: what do i care
10:46 AM me: "crown of love" by the arcade fire has a real waltz feel to it
kate: so all the creeps that you dont even know can read it?
me: hey, only some of them are creepy
kate: its weird
not gonna lie
me: but dont forget i also have a loyal fanbase of mutual friends
10:47 AM who can easily figure out who im talking to
so if i wer eyou i wouldnt bring up your most recent outbreak during this conversation
woops
kate: i dont say incriminating things
me: well, i can always edit that out
kate: hahaha
10:48 AM yeah, thanks for that bi-monthky joy
monthly
me: you typing the laughs is kind of like the applause sign on the tonight show for the blog readers
you get outbreaks every month?
what pills are you taking?
im down to one a year
kate: no baby pills
10:49 AM me: morning after?
kate: no daily
me: i like taking the placebos
10:50 AM i pretend its estrogen

[At this point, said friend unexpectedly launched into a story about a friend of hers with morals as loose as her own, despite knowing that this whole conversation was going into the blog. Out of kindness for her friend - not Kate - I have omitted that portion. Her slow and desperate realization follows. Names and loose actions have been omitted.]

10:54 AM me: done with your paper?
kate: no
me: ha
kate: do not put that in your blof fyi
me: my blof
ok, i wont
why shouldnt i?
10:55 AM kate: because
me: what part of it?
kate: the world does not need to know about [!@#%%$$@!@!$$@]
me: i specifically told you beforehand
10:56 AM if you didnt want that printed, you could have very easily have said "off the record"
kate: i did
me: you have a degree in journalism, youshould know these things
kate: just shut up
me: maybe you should
before you incrimimate yourself further
10:57 AM kate: dont do it
me: i warned you
kate: seriously!
me: why the fucknot?!
kate: i will be pissed
me: are you worried yoru [!%#%##@!@] friend reads my blog?
10:58 AM i mean i know my blog is popular, but come on, what are the odds?
kate: who knows
maybe they do
now dont do it
me: im doing it dog
10:59 AM kate: if you do,i will seriously be angry
i have to finish this paper
11:02 AM lester, im not kidding, do not put that
me: youll just have to keep checking my blog to find out
;)

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29 minutes

11:32 AM me: it must really suck for zoo keepers when elephants get diarrhea