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April 3 2008
You might think that we writers get interviewed often by the media, but you'd be wrong. I'm sure that Stephen King and J.K. Rowling have journalists and TV anchors calling them every day to beg for their opinions. The rest of us ink stained wretches are lucky if our own relatives care what we think. That's why I felt flattered when a man named Chuck Blather phoned to say he was a columnist for The Willowdale Clarion and he wanted to interview me about my book The Dead Don't Cry.
The Clarion is one of those small suburban newspapers with a readership that would barely fill a highschool gymnasium, but any publicity helps, so I agreed to go to Blather's office for a chat. I was a little disappointed when I found out that the guy's "office" was his garage, but we sat down on a couple of lawn chairs, then he picked up a writing pad and a ballpoint pen.
"First question," Chuck said. "What do you think of the Iraq War?"
"I'm sorry, but what does that have to do with my book?" I asked.
"No need to be evasive. What about the war?"
"All right. I think it's a disaster."
"So, you'd rather have the Russians win?" Chuck said.
"The Russians aren't in Iraq."
"Evasive again."
"Could we please talk about my book?" I asked.
"Sure. What's it about?"
"Well, it's a detective novel about a man who..."
"Any sex in it?" Chuck asked.
"Excuse me?"
"You know. Sex. Any steamy scenes?"
"Nothing explicit," I said. "There are a couple of vague references to..."
"So, what made you decide to write dirty books anyway?" Chuck asked.
"It's a detective story," I said through gritted teeth.
"So, you write about crime. Is there much crime in your neighborhood?"
"Not really. I think my neighbor had a bike stolen about ten years ago."
"Is that when you bought the gun?"
"I didn't buy a gun," I said.
"Why not? Don't you care if your neighbors or your family gets murdered in their beds?"
"I'm leaving now," I said.
"No problem. I've got what I need, Mr. Condon. Thanks for coming by."
I went home annoyed, but then I forgot the whole thing. Two days later, my wife came into our living room holding a copy of The Willowdale Clarion.
"Did you see this article about you in the paper?" she asked.
"No. What does it say?"
"I haven't read it yet, but I sure don't like the headline. It says: Porn Writer Supports Terrorism And Crime."
"Relax," I said. "It's just another example of objective journalism."
****
George
P.S. For some free fiction visit my site at: www.checkmatefiction.com
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Posted by gjcondon on 2008-04-03 11:47:55 | Rating: | Views: 107
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