January 8 2008

Every great movie director has a unique style that makes his or her pictures distinctive.  I thought it would be interesting to give the same story to three famous directors and see how each of them would handle it differently. The work that I chose was that well known fairy tale Little Red Riding Hood.

Francis Ford Coppola's Version

Red Riding Hood knew better than to take a gun with her to Grandma's house.  The Wolf would be there and he'd pat her down for sure, so she arrived without packing any heat.  After frisking her, The Wolf let her in.

"I just wanted you to know," The Wolf said.  "When I whacked your father, it wasn't personal.  Just business."

"Don't mention it," Red said.  "Where's Grandma?"

"She sleeps with the fishes."

"All right," Red said.  "Just let me powder my nose, then we can discuss how we'll divide up the forest among The Seven Families."

Red went into the bathroom and found the gun that had been hidden in the toilet tank for her.  She hid it in her dress, then she went back out to where The Wolf was waiting.

"This is for my father," she said, then she shot The Wolf between the eyes.

As she was looking around the cottage, Red heard  a noise and found Grandma hiding under the stairs.

"I'm glad The Wold didn't clip you," Red said.  "But where's The Woodsman?  He was supposed to be here to back us up."

"He'll be here," Grandma said.  "I made him an offer he can't refuse."

Clint Eastwood's Version

Red Riding Hood had fought her way up from tank town bouts, knocking out creampuffs like The Three Little Pigs along the way.  Finally, she had a shot at a title match against The Wolf who was heavyweight champion.  The big fight was being held at Grandma's house.

As she climbed over the ropes, The Wolf came out to center ring and sneered down at her. They touched gloves and the bell rang to begin Round One.

"Think you're tough?" The Wolf mocked.  "Well, tough ain't enough, Girlie."

"How about this?" Red asked, then she socked The Wolf with a left hook followed by a right cross.  The big lobo didn't know what had hit him and he went down for the count.  Red was the new champion.

As Red relaxed in her dressing room after the fight, her trainer The Woodsman came in carrying a shotgun that he aimed at Red.

"You know I love you, Macushla," said The Woodsman.  "Ending your suffering is the hardest thing I'll ever do."

"What suffering?" Red asked.  "That wolf bozo never laid a glove on me."

"I know," The Woodsman said, "but I have to end this dumb movie somehow." 

Then he pulled the trigger.

Stephen Spielberg's Version

Red Riding Hood had used up her personal fortune, trying to keep Grandma and the other Jewish fairy tale characters out of the death camps run by The Wolf and his SS men.  Now, she'd run out of money and tricks.  Things seemed hopeless.

Then, The Woodsman drove into the town square in an army tank. He had great news.

"The Three Pigs and their forces have won," he said.  "The Wolf is dead and his followers have surrendered."

Red went into the factory where her people were sheltered as they worked for her.

"The war is over," she told them. "You're safe now.  Is there anything more that I can do for you?"

"Do for me?" Grandma said. "Oyvay!  I have such a list."

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By now, you can understand why I was never offered work as a movie director.

George

P.S. For free fiction, visit my website at www.checkmatefiction.com