Thoughts.com Blogs - Stanley Thomas 21st May 2008 2lb 9oz!!!!

All is well. All is REALLY well.

I got to the hospital last night to find Cheb was in a terrible state - alot of pain and very upset.
She was crying so much she couldnt tell me anything. The doctor took me aside and explained the situation. I was braced for the worse, I had convinced myself that he was gonna say we had lost him.

What he told me was that Cheb had started labour. That as she was only 27 (I think?) weeks in, this was really too early and so they had given her drugs to try to stop it, but this hadnt worked. Fact was, the baby wanted to come, and he was gonna come.

He explained that there were more than a few risks. This happened probably because of all the history she has with her polycystic ovaries and the miscarriages she's suffered.

This risks involved were to Cheb and to Stan. She was pretty damn poorly, and Stan was probably gonna be too young, too little to survive. I was told to expect the worst, that she was gonna give birth but that the baby wouldnt make it. I was asked (as was her mum) that in the event of there being a choice, did they have permission to do whatever they needed to do for Cheb (meaning if there was a choice, to let the baby go). Hell of a choice but we agreed. There could be other babies, there will never be another her. Apparently all this had been said to her right before I arrived, hence the hysterics, bless her.

So they tell me they're taking her to theatre, no more time to waste. I am just to sit and await the outcome.

I gave her a kiss on the forehead and promised her I would be there when she came out of theatre and I would always be here. I promised her everything would be fine, she would be fine, Stan would be fine...promises I couldnt keep.

So imagine this...I sat outside in the hospital corridor for 3 hours...waiting...no idea whats happening to her or our child. Her mum is quietly crying, my brother (whom I barely speak to these days, we are polar opposites, but hes the only person I know who would be available to drive me down here) is trying to be helpful, getting cups of coffee and such, but he doesnt know what to say, how to handle it.

Three hours, right through the quietest part of the night...I was too scared to move, because I had told her I would be there when she woke up.

Then the doctor comes out and he says...'she's okay, she's sleeping.'
I cant put into words the relief. I mean...I was so relieved that for a split second...I forgot about the baby, God forgive me. So Cheb's mum says 'What about the baby?' and it dawns on me. The doctor didnt say anything, only asked if he could have a word with me.

I followed him into a private room, and I was thinking...oh God, here it comes, and i just...really didnt wanna cry, cause then how would I face Cheb?
Theres another door off that room, and he takes me through it....

He leads me to a tiny plastic thing, like a box, in the corner and stands back while I look inside.

I see alot of wires, tubes and blankets, and theres a steady beeping noise.

And amongst all those wires and tubes and blankets...theres a baby. A tiny, tiny baby with a full head of black hair and a tiny nose and tiny fingers and toes, and yellowish brown skin, all flaky and fragile. His head is bigger than his body, but his chest moves slowly up and down and I realised. I'm looking at my son, and he's ALIVE.

As I stand there dumbfounded, I vaguely hear him tell me that my son was born at 4.02 am by c-section. He has a slight liver infection and needs alot of help with breathing and such until he grows a little but it worked in our favour that he was a big baby from the outset (like his dad!). He has a long way to go but theres every chance he'll make it.
I just burst into tears.

I sat with Cheb all through the rest of the night, holding her hand and watching her sleep and I (am!) so so proud of her. She will be in hospital a while and so will Stan but they'll be okay.
She woke up at about 8 this morning and at lunchtime I took her to see him.

He's beautiful, he really is. I put my hand through the whole in the incubator and he put his tiny fingers around my little finger and they dont even go round. His wrist is so small, and he has this band around it that says 'Baby Thomas' I keep looking at that and I cant believe he's really mine.

My son. My son is HERE!!

I am back at Cheb's mums now and I'm gonna get a bit of sleep if I can (my brother has gone back to spread the news to everyone in Newcastle) before I head back to see my lady and our baby tonight.

Thank you for all your well wishes, it worked and they are safe and well.

Lots of Love
David, Heidi & Stan xxx