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It was to be a great day
Filled with sea and sand
Now I have two broken fingers
And I cannot shake your hand
(ouch)
I have three broken ribs
So please don’t make me laugh
In a weeks time I'm gonna stink
Cause I cannot have a bath
(eww)
I did see him coming
And did my best to run
But my tired old legs did fail me
And I landed on my bum
(yowser)
Now im stuck on my sofa
Feeling like an old codger
Drinking endless tea
And eating Jammy Dodger(s)
(yum)
Now I cannot do a dance
Not that I ever could
And my mum said for humanity
I probably never should
(anyway)
That idiot crossed the line
When he drove at us at speed
But my family are all fine
And that is all I need
(however)
I'm still stuck on my sofa
I have an itchy arse
I cannot reach to scratch it
Oh what a bloody farce!
(sigh)
I am condemned to a summer
of 'Jeremy Kyle' and 'Friends'
By the time we get to autumn
I'll have been driven round the bend
(sob)
So here I am on the sofa
I cant find the remote
Oh Christ I think I sat on it
Oh now there is no hope
(arrggghhhh)
I need to pick myself back up
I need to have a laugh
And oh my God I really do
Need to have a bath
(peewww!)
I have a glass of water
The bubbles I must blow
To stop my lungs collapsing
I'm an expert, dontcha know?
(thanks KP)
I’m not much of a writer
I’m certainly no poet
This rhyme was written in boredom
I cant believe im gonna show it
(proud really)
Now im gonna shout for Cheb
Ask for another cup of tea
One more day of this
I shall lose my sanity
(double arrrrgghhh)
I must say by for now
Change the channel on the TV
I shall blog more a bit later
When ive had my cup of tea
(and another Jammy Dodger)
Dave…..........out
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Posted by geordiedreamer on 2008-07-08 07:22:12 | Rating: | Views: 158
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LOL...
HAROLD, this is fantastic!! Well done.... had me laughing, cos it doesn't hurt me! lol
Oh and I didn't think you Poms took baths!?? lol just kidding of course cobba!
Out... Madge!
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Posted by EasyToSay
on 2008-07-08 08:10:57
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Why Dave! I do believe that boredom has tapped in to a previously unfathomed level of genius! Well done! (I hope you didn't laugh as hard as I did! Youch!)
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Posted by BootLady
on 2008-07-08 09:29:24
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Thanks mafge, glad you like...oh and I'm more of a shower man myself, though I could get used to bed baths (there are benefits to being laid up)...
Ever heard of a famous poet from Newcastle? No? you know why?? See above! Thats how a Geordie thinks
Out...Harold xxx lol
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Posted by geordiedreamer
on 2008-07-08 09:33:27
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E2S - meant to call you 'Madge' as you well know...knew you'd have a laugh at my typo (may I remind you...hero here with 2 broken fingers...lol)
BootLady - glad you like...wont be giving up my day job any time soon though! Haha! x
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Posted by geordiedreamer
on 2008-07-08 09:34:56
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funny! oh, the breathing thingy, fun isn't it?
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Posted by circe
on 2008-07-08 14:39:33
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circe - glad it amused you! Oh yeah...the breathing thing hurts like hell, but I have it on good authority its necessary...
thanks for stopping by xxx Dave xxx
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Posted by geordiedreamer
on 2008-07-08 16:50:26
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Finally, someone has written a poem that I can understand. Keep going....I think there is a book deal in the future...Poetry for the Simple-Minded Man.
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Posted by HungryHeart
on 2008-07-09 01:56:03
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LOL, Dave, ur NUTS :D
"Now I cannot do a dance
Not that I ever could"
Hehehehe....
You are an amazing guy, and you're going to come out of this :) We have your back :)
*hugs*
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Posted by angelwings
on 2008-07-09 02:03:09
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Hi Dave,
I hope that all this blogging is helping.
Now as for your poem, I loved it, I can hear Rod Stewart knocking on the door any minute........... Opps sorry no laughing.
Ohhh and one more thing, In a week or so, make it a bigger and wider glass, yes I know mean aren't I. and you wonder why I didn't tell you earlier. oops I forgot no laughing.
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Posted by KP
on 2008-07-09 03:24:26
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HungryHeart - "Poetry For The Simple-Minded Man" Hmm...sounds like a book title to me, aah, I have been inspired to write more...hehe x
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Posted by geordiedreamer
on 2008-07-09 04:17:06
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angelwings - nuts is correct. Theres a Geordie joke in there somewhere but I wont go there...;-) xxx Thanks sweetheart ccc Dave ccc
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Posted by geordiedreamer
on 2008-07-09 04:18:30
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oops! gave you cuddles there (ccc) instead of kisses (xxx). Whats Cheb gonna say?? Lol xxx
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Posted by geordiedreamer
on 2008-07-09 04:19:14
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KP - The blogging is helping, thank you. Oh and I LOVE Rod Stewart (head expanding, mind thinking of more poetry...cannot cope with pressure,,,system overload...lol)
Oh, and a bigger glass?? Are you kidding me?? I shall have to steal Cheb's vodka glass (lol). Woman, you are just CRUEL! Tell my mummy on you!! Lol xxx Dave xxx
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Posted by geordiedreamer
on 2008-07-09 04:21:31
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I AM SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU! I mean, Jeremy Kyle????? You can't be that bad Dave. Get on to the racing channel and quick....Great post
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Posted by overthehillandfar...
on 2008-07-09 05:21:06
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overthehillandfaraway - I know! Usually its the Morning Line on channel 4 (yes, John McCrirrick is a sexist maniacal pig, but man he knows his stuff) and then Racing UK/At The Races...but my fat arse was on the remote, lol x Today shall be different...oh and have I ever told you, I am one of only a handful of bookies left who can and does still do the old tic tac system?? As a fellow racing lover, you will know what I am talking about...yes, its in my blood alright xxx dave xxx
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Posted by geordiedreamer
on 2008-07-09 05:32:58
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Dave I come from a background where my grandfather gave my granny a really hard time because of horses. My other grandfather bred them so it is really in my blood. I am so fortunate to be involved through a close friend who works with John Magnier and JP, so I get to see the horses close up so to speak. Tic tac - that's impressive. Maybe some day we will meet up. Our next visit your side will be York in August I think. I agree with you about John. He is a disgusting man with a lot of knowledge, but not as bad as Jeremy Kyle. Did you know he had been voted the 2nd most unpopular man in Britain? I hate how he makes money out of people's dreadful misfortunes. Have a good day Dave and don't be afraid to take the pain killers. It does get better, I promse.
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Posted by overthehillandfar...
on 2008-07-09 06:07:03
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The horses were both the making of, and the downfall of, my father. he made good money from it but sadly spent it on drink...me, I prefer to spend it on my family - much more satisfying... :-) xxx Its very much so a tradition in Newcastle, the horses, most blokes (to the distain of their ladies) can be found in the bookies at some point in an average day. You know that guiy who sued William Hill for letting him get it debt with them? I knew that guy (forget his name though!) Shows what it can do to some people. Not sure now if I will make it to York this year...but if I do, I will let you know xxx dave xxx Oh! Any tips for today?? lol xxx
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Posted by geordiedreamer
on 2008-07-09 06:18:23
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At least you can find some humor in all this.
I think it was very creative!
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Posted by anotherdaze
on 2008-07-09 11:51:05
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Great post!!!
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Posted by DouglasMB
on 2008-07-09 23:37:01
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