Thoughts.com Blogs - I Do What I Can

I've just been reading my lady's latest blog and just wanted to write a little reply really.

I know that I am the first partner she has ever had that she felt able to fully express herself with. Her hubby didn't wanna know (actually laughed at her once she told me). I'm gonna try not to bring him up too much in my blogs, just to be repectful to Cheb really, after all, he was (still is) her husband. But jeez...that man...he makes my blood boil. How could he not see what he had?
Anyway...(sorry...)

With me she knows she can be as romantic as she likes, as sloppy, mushy and Mills & Boon, as she feels the need to be. Hell, I'm like that too. The last of the romantics. More times than not, I'm ever sloppier than she is! There is nothing I love more than a bottle of wine, a cheesy movie or CD and a bottle of wine cuddled up with my lady. I love to take her out, show her off (she blushes when I say that). I'm proud to have her on my arm, I see people looking at me and thinking 'how the hell did that grey-haired old bastard get a chebtastic lady like her??'

Since she left her husband and we became a proper couple, I have truly seen her bloom. The last time she was here...man, when she stepped off the train she blew my mind. She was glowing. I mean, I've always been blown away when she came up here and I got a look at her for the first time in a few weeks, but the last time...God. I never saw her look so happy.
The first time she came up to Newcastle I made a promise to myself that no matter what she was going through at home I would make sure she had the best time she possibly could with me. For a week it would all be about her. I took her all over, for a ferry ride, out to dinner, walks along the sea front...I did the same every time she came up here, still do. One time she told me I should stop, because she didnt expect me to always make a fuss, and that I would never be able to keep it up. She told me she wanted to see what it would be like to be with me in an every day sense. It took some time to convince her that this was how life would always be with me. I cant see a day in the rest of our lives together where I wouldnt want to make a fuss over her.

The only thing I was finding difficult to keep up, was waving her off with a smile as she left in tears back to him every time. Seeing her leave back to a man I knew didnt love her, I knew was inclined to hurt her - emotionally and physically - a man who couldn't treat her right because she needed more than he was able to give her.

She calls herself high maintainance. I say she would only be that if I found it a struggle to keep her happy - I dont. She needs loads of hugs and cuddles - no probs, so do I. She needs reassurance, no probs - dont we all? She needs to hear the words 'I love you' not have it assumed that she knows - again, thats not hard for me to say, because I do. But I also know that those words need backing up with ACTIONS, so I back her up with everything that means something to her, she knows she will have my unfaltering support, no matter what. My unconditional love to. Whats difficult about any of that?

So it hurt to see her go home to him. Did I ever ask her to leave him? No. She had to reach that decision herself, and when she was ready.

She gives me way too much credit. Thats her only flaw. She holds me responsible for all the wonderful things that have happened to her.
Ah Chebby...my darling...my sweet lady...lets break this down shall we?

First...you're doing well at college because you're clever and you know what you're doing.
Second...you got accepted to Uni because you're clever, not because I bribed them, or did the work for you...etc...
Third...I didn't come down and carry you away from your husband, beating my chest in victory. I offered to come down and be there when you did leave, but in the end you did it alone and off your own back. I know what courage that took. YOUR courage.
Forth...the baby. I know its always been your dream to be a mummy. I know you've come close before and had this dream snatched. This time...its gonna happen. And well...yeah, I can take 50% of the responsibilty for that, but we made this baby together.

What I'm trying to say is...all I do...all I have ever done...is love you. And believe me darling...thats really not difficult for me.
Its not that I'm a perfect man, as much as I'm simply the perfect man for YOU. In the same way...you're the perfect woman for me. I'm as happy as you are. Look at what you've given me! I thought I was gonna grow old alone, spend my later years in the bookies frittering away my pension muttering away to myself. Now I get to grow old with you and most incredibly...I'm gonna be a dad and it doesnt matter how many times I hear that, or read or write it...it never fails to blow my mind.

I know to some this post will be sickly and sloppy but I dont care because I know you will appreciate it.

I love you, cant wait for a cuddle xxx