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| how we got to here - finale!
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I have been reading through my ‘how we got to here’ series today. I really don’t know if by the end anyone but me was reading it, but if you were…I hope you enjoyed it.
I think I had pretty much reached the point where I joined thoughts, and we both told the story from there on in anyhow…so the rest I guess is contained within our blogs.
Stanley was born early, but he is fine and well and now actually slightly over weight for his age. Cheb finished college, moved up to Newcastle with me and we settled into our new home on the sea front. The hit and run happened and we are now getting through that, and save for the occasion knock back and tough day, we are both coping and I am getting better each day.
Is this the end of the story then? God no! It’s just the start of a new chapter; a new volume is all…
We have so much ahead of us. Cheb is just over three weeks into her pregnancy, due date is 25th March 2009. She starts University in September, so it’s gonna be a busy old year for us. She will have tonnes of support, and I will get her through this. she was gonna defer her entry for a year or so, but I managed to persuade her not to – she has already wasted many years delaying this dream….I don’t want her to have to do it again.
Once I am back on my feet again I can get back to some proper work and we will be okay, with the help of friends and family. I have total confidence in that.
We have made (continued to make) terrific friends on this site, and we hope you will stick with us for the next chapter in our love story, watch with us as our children grow, and hopefully as many as possible of you will make the trip to Scotland in 2011 to watch us marry.
It’s been an incredible ride this last couple of years. I do believe that fate has been on our side, guiding us together, and paving the way for our happy life together.
Love is a curious thing, found in the strangest of places, and often when we are not especially looking for it. Often it is not the most ideal of times either, that we meet our soulmate. Often we are already tied to someone – I know I was, and Cheb was. There can be no escaping the fact that in the beginning what we did was on some level wrong. Other people got hurt for us to be together, so it was not a fairytale as such…it was difficult, awkward and slightly tacky I guess. But out of something quite wrong, something wonderful and beautiful was borne.
There can’t be any dressing it up. Cheb committed adultery and I cheated on a lovely woman, whose only crime was not being quite right for me. I have always been somewhat bemuse by the positive reaction we have had on this site, where others in similar situations have not. I have no idea what it is about us as a couple that is so inspiring. I’m pleased that we have the support, and especially that Cheb did way back before she left her husband, I know it gave her some much needed strength. I also suspect that things may have been different, we may have been perceived differently if there had been kids involved, in her marriage and my relationship, and I get that too.
Maybe what it is, is that with us, people can see the happy ending, with us you got to see things working out, and everyone loves a happy ending.
I guess I’m gonna close with this, unless I think of more to say.
Love is not an easy, smooth ride; it is not all hearts and flowers. more often then not, it isn’t ‘boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, boy gets girl, lives happily ever after’ It is challenging, difficult, people get hurt, often it comes by at the most inappropriate of times and sometimes it doesn’t work out.
But sometimes, you just have to go for it, even if it means people get hurt, even if it means rocking the boat.
I guess the solution is to find the right person in the first place, but in my experience this is nearly impossible. All you can do is try to limit the damage, hope to be forgiven; hurt as little as possible and just go for it.
Yes, love is a messy business, and some of us get the happy ending, some of us don’t…but in the end…love conquers all, it finds a way and it is worth all the pain and hassle.
It does no good to pretend that love is always wonderful, always perfect, and always pure. Its not. The enduring loves are the ones that soldier on anyway.
Sometimes we have to be a little selfish.
So I hold my hands up and admit I am selfish. I found someone I wanted and I made her mine. I took my happiness at the expense of others. many people do this, and not all succeed, so I ask this of you all – consider that even people who do wrong can sometimes have good motives, good hearts – they just gave them to the wrong person and are fighting to get them back.
Love really is the most important thing in the world, without it…what is life about? It doesn’t have to be for another in the romantic sense, but make sure you find love wherever it may be for you – for family, for your children, for your lover, for your spouse…and don’t be afraid to grab it with both hands. The hardest things in this life are the ones most worth having.
Just love, that’s my only advice.
Lots of love
Dave xxx
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Posted by geordiedreamer on 2008-07-26 09:13:10 | Rating: | Views: 123
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Dave, I for one have read each of the entries in this series, and have been fascinated by the path your story has taken to get to where it is today. And now, I look forward to reading how your tale continues, and how your love grows, and what wonderful things your family get up to.
I love the honesty and frankness both Cheb and you use to describe your lives. For me I think these are the main two reasons I couldn't feel anything really negative about what you did.
Your love is so strong, and so real to your readers and your friends here, how could we hold it against you?
And, the fact that Cheb's ex husband sounds to be far from a decent man, is a reason for me atleast that what you both did is OK. More than OK, we all deserve happiness afterall.......
:o)
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Posted by deepintought
on 2008-07-26 10:12:40
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Dave, you guys are just meant to be, so the fact that you are is a great thought, when i think of destiny or fate for myself.
xx
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Posted by EasyToSay
on 2008-07-26 10:17:13
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Dave, I have loved reading your story. I have read every entry on it. I am so happy for the two of you and the happiness you have found. Your story has been quite an inspiration for me and I am sure for others as well.
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Posted by country_girl
on 2008-07-26 12:43:07
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deepintought - we have always tried to be honest, because well...to lie on here is akin to lying to ourselves, and what would be the point of that? We have always simply looked ahead with one goal, just to spend every day trying to keep each other happy - we dont always succeed, but its the trying that expresses the love...
Okay, I'm babbling now, lol...thanks for your kind words hun xxx dave xxx
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Posted by geordiedreamer
on 2008-07-26 14:41:57
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EasyToSay - I am really pleased you said that, because we have always hoped to prove the existance of fate and destiny, for anyone who may be in doubt about it...I'm glad we have got that across in our words
Take care you xxx Dave xxx
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Posted by geordiedreamer
on 2008-07-26 14:44:28
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KBmyAngel - thanks hun. Agreed. happiness and fate lies first in our own hands, and THEN in others hands - after all, you cant expect to ever make anyone else happy until you are happy xxx thank you for reading us! xxx Dave xxx
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Posted by geordiedreamer
on 2008-07-26 14:47:40
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country_girl - thanks, its nice to know someone else was reading it! lol xxx and I'm glad we are an inspiration too! xxx dave xxx p.s. hope all is going well for you across the pond :-) xxx
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Posted by geordiedreamer
on 2008-07-26 14:51:22
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I have read every word and related to each one also.
I think what yall have is something very special! No matter the path you had to take to get to each other.
I personally feel that Cheb, you, little Stanley and the new little one are a part of the family now!
Hugs! And thank you for sharing your story.
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Posted by 1221dol0306
on 2008-07-26 21:56:18
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1221dol0306 - thanks for your support and for reading our story! :-) xxx Dave xxx
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Posted by geordiedreamer
on 2008-07-27 03:46:57
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Many people search forever and not find what you two kids have together.
The adultery to me is a non issue and need not be referred to along with your" thing ". But I do admire the honestly.
You guys found each other and now have settled into a life together full of love.
Embrace it, keep it close, grow with it.
Have many years of happiness and always be in love.
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Posted by templar_knight
on 2008-07-27 08:34:33
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templar_knight - thank very much for that, it means alot! Oh, and its been years since someone called me a 'kid' (I'm 44) too so thanks for that as well - made my day, that did! :-) xxx Dave xxx
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Posted by geordiedreamer
on 2008-07-27 08:42:49
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