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that i cant seem to get you off my mind, this morning i realize just how much i miss you. how much i need you back. sitting in my office i was blindside by a vision of you, that picture that you took this weekend. it made me see just how much you have changed how little i really knew and how far and vast the distance has grown between us. i dont know you anymore, when we sit and talk i feel like you are a bigger mystery then before. it frightens me to know that i am in love with a total stranger. i sit and try to picture a future but all i see is bleakness and sadness. is this is what my life is meant to be? just sorrow and pain lonliness and grief for someone who will never be mine again? a love that goes on forever but never returned? why lord have you given me this burden to bear? why did you fill me with such love? i love her so much right now its hurts my heart aches to hold her near me to feel her close to kiss her lips and see her smile to hear her whisper my name. god the pain is too much at times...right now the tears they are flowing again.
why do i cry for you when you have made a choice you have gone to a place that i can not follow you too. you wont let me in. you wont let me back into the place where i felt whole and safe, now i am out here cold and alone scared and so alone. do you understand that i am so alone with out you. you were the one that i need to be with. it feels like thier is a storm a tempest inside of me, it boils and roils screams out with thunder and lashes out with lightning it churns the wind and waves trying depsertly to find a crack a way back into your heart but you are like a montain, and my strom breaks on your surface, i loose all power and strengh when i meet you, i fall at your feet and become a breeze a whisper around you. and even with that delicate touch i cant find you, i whisper i shout i scream out your name but you dont hear me anymore!!!! i love you so much it hurts i cant go on with out you....oh god help me please!!! unburden this heart of mine, help me find solace some how. i would lay at your feet and beg for your forgivenss i would give up everything just to be with you. but nothing, nothing i say do will ever bring you back, i have lost you to wind....and all i have left are tears...bitter tears that come unbidden univited to my eyes.
i long to hug you to kiss you to love you again. but it feels like you mock me sometimes when i see you. your eyes hide such mysterys such depth that i am lost in them trying to fathom the mysterys that they hold. when i touch you i feel the touch of another. someone eles has your heart your love. i am holding on to a love that has flown. i sit here and bleed my self dry for you i beat my self down and try to discover a place for my self but every where i look i see you i feel you. that song that i had told you was yours is so true. "your always a woman to me" the words ring true.
baby forgive me for the pain that i caused you, forgive me for the sorrow for the misunderstanding. forgive me for failing to act as i should; forgive me for loving you too much. i ve lost you and i am scared. i am scared to be alone with out you. scared of who you have become. i sometimes see glimpses shadows of who you once where. but they are so fleeting that i think its a trick of the light, and that flicker of hope dies out like a flame.
forgive me my love, i never meant to make you cry and althought i know i should call it just reminds us of the cost of all we lost, maybe one day the pain will go away and i will stop crying, and we will look back on this time and think well perhaps one day...we almost made a mistake and got lost from each other but we found us again. and discoverd our love. perhaps...one day you will love me again. i know that trying to stop loving you is damm near impossible i know that i have tried, i cant it makes it harder.
perhaps one day right? until that happens know that my heart is yours and yours alone, my mind my body my spirt and my soul are forever yours.
daniel
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Posted by gatopanzo on 2007-10-29 06:33:25 | Rating: | Views: 81
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