it was good seeing you today, you looked more beautiful then ever. your right i dont want to look at your eyes i am scared of not seeing the love that they once held for me. they are not cold...but rather indifferent. they almost see right thru me. i may not know you as much as you wanted me too, becuase you kept me away for so long, you never really let me in. you always spoke of being independent of not needing of anyone and as  a result i always felt like you didnt need me to be as close as you wanted me too. miscomunication perhaps? its too late now to fix it, you have taken me out of your heart.

 i love you for you  for your good, your flaw, the imperfections and the perfections that you have inside of you. i may not know all of the things that make up who you are but i love you just the same. the mysteries of who you are the wonder that you hold, its like expolring and discovering all new vistas within you. that would have been the ultimate goal, but we never had a chance. i do you love i do miss you. i want you back, you are my life, we need to discover us together, i still dont know who i am. i never new i could love like i do, feel as much pain and self loathing as i do, i never knew it could hurt as much as it does. 

 if everyone who fell in love with another only did so because they knew the other so complety then divorce would never be, broken hearts would be a memmory, but love is not like that, love is a mystery just like us we need to discover it, sometimes it just is and no amount of thoughts or actions can ever expalin it. it just is. love is just what it is. love. and i love you, for who you are who you were and who you will be, even if our future is not meant to be but still i will be greatfull for finding out what it meant to love, and perhaps to be loved by you. by someone so perfect so beyond measure that even with all the sorrow all the words that have been said, i love you.

 i didnt hug you because i was too close to tears holding you i would not have wanted to let you go, you are my wife, and just walking away would have been too much at that moment, i need to leave and clear my head, forgive me for not holding you, it was for your benifit, i would not have wanted to leave you, the moment was too much. please if you somehow read this come see me tomorow again.

 daniel.