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| i will keep the memory of you
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so i have been away the past few weeks. trying to cope with all that has happend. i see you know in a whole new light. i have taken the roses colored glasses of and i see you as you are now. with your flaws and imperfections. we have come a long way from where we once where. look at us now. you have met a great man, i know that he is loved and admired by everyone, you already told me that you can see a future for you both, and it may sound strange but i am happy for you. he is willing to travel to mexico with you and make a life with you. he does love you, i can see it in his eyes in the pictures that i saw. you can see the same happines refelcted in your eyes as well. you make a good couple. it bugs me to know that after me their where 3 guys till you met him. it bugs me to know that after only 4 months since the divorce you are sharing your bed with him. granted i have met someone, but that someone is a very good friend someone that has helped me to see that i am not such a bad guy as i felt. she held my head above that water and let me see the light again. but i still cant give me self over to anyone. your still in my heart. i still love you. i stll want you. your body i miss it so much, your taste the warmth of your skin, your lips on mine....thats not mine anymore they all belong to him. he can touch you and love you.
i am keeping your memeory as you once where to me, that girl that i saw once and fell in love with at once. i treasure those thoughts of you. the first time we met, out first date. that dress that you wear, the first time we made love the day of our wedding, your laughter your smile, the sound of your voice, your perfume all that i will treasue and keep in my heart, because i no longer know you, i see you and i wonder who is she? you are a memeory to me now. i memory of who i once was, you made me belive in me and gave me so much strength and love that my heart wil always belong to you. all these words that i have written i guess i are to try to make up for all the things that i did wrong. all the lies and half truths that we both told. all thoses things could have been erased with two words, " i am sorry" but niether one of us had the strength to say these things. rather we let things brood and fester till you lost you love to me. or have you? i dont know. you tell me you love and yet you are in his arms. how can you love me and tell me then that you see a future for you both? how? i see a future for me that needs to be rebuilt that i need to find again because i have lost my way. i cant find the path that you and i had begun to lay down. so i need to find a new path an new beging to this road that i am on.
this wont break your heart. all this is just mute to you.my words hold no meaning my tears have no value. i try to seperate your memeory from all that i do so i can try to live on. i try to so that i can remember who you once where and not this stranger you have become. dont be sad to leave your future with him is bright with happiness. but i ll keep your memory near so as you never fade away from here. just remember that when you look at the sky when you see the sun or the moon and the stars that i am looking up at them, that somewhere out there some one else is loving you, wishing and praying for you to remember them as well. we dont share anything any more, but memories and the moon and the stars all that we share. remember me when the breeze blows, it will carry my voice as i whisper you name.
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Posted by gatopanzo on 2007-12-03 10:26:38 | Rating: | Views: 86
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It is weird how after everything has ended you look back and wonder what you seen in that person. After all the bullshit their beauty melts away, and their uglyness shows you how it's not worth your pain. Be strong, it will pass, and you'll find something better, trust me.
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Posted by butt3rflyk1ss3s
on 2007-12-03 10:34:56
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yes, can only echo others, stay strong hon - soft hug
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Posted by kentlass
on 2007-12-04 17:41:21
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