i am sorry for still loving you. only a fool like me can ever hang to a love that is no longer needed. i belived you when you said you wanted to stay friends and talk once in a while. i am sorry for all of it, but i dont know how not to love you. up to this point in my life that is the only thing that i knew how to do. i never said i was good at it i just knew that it was right. i dont think that i will ever get over you. you went far beyond just a wife, to me you are prefection. i feel like crying but what good does it do me, i want to run away but for what? you wil still be with me. you are a part of my life. so many words to say but i dont know how to say them. for you right now if you wished i would give it all up for you, i would leave all this to be by your side again. i am hurting my self by loving you. its hurts to know that i love you so much and you dont give a damm about me. 

 my whole life will pass but i wont ever get over you. i try and find some comfort in knowing that you once where mine, but all i feel is more emptiness more pain inside, its like looking down a long tunnel i cant even see the other side all i see is the dark that is enveloping me, i can run i can scream i beg the heavens to give me peace in my heart but no one listens to me. no one cares, i am alone and bewlidred at the loss that i am enduring. your pain has passed it has changed into anger resenment, and now indiffernece. your words hurt your actions pain me. but you dont care. and i understand. i feel abondond and incomplete. i am hollow with out feelings except this remorse and this guilt this pain that i bear is too much. how can i hurt so much for you when you dont care. how can love someone, who...i dont know. i want to scream, scream out your name beat my chest and loss my self in the sorrow, i want to melt down and just loss it and not care. i am tierd of having to put on the brave face at work and at home. no one knows how much i hurt, no one really understands. 

 you are gone, i can tell that now, our friendship and our past for you has passed like the seasons, you have shed all memory and feelings for me. i am just another rider in this game of life, just another face on the street a name that sounds familier. but you, you are my life, you are all i had left...i cant do this no more, i dont understand how easy you forget, i dont understand who you made that final leap to freedom to another. i am an idiot to still love you, i just dont understand how it all happend how you gave up on me, i know that i failed you, but still didnt you love me? does this not mean anything to you? does it not in any way affect you when you know that i still care, that iam dying here with out you? forget it its okay, my life is over, i will join the legions that drag them selfes to work day in and day out, who eat when they are told to and sleep whens its night, i am dead inside you may see me sometimes and think i know this man but from where, but i am just a shadow, a ghost in this world, i am nothing i am no one, i am dead.