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do you ever wonder what could be? or are you too busy with life to think about it? house warming parties, friends, finding new love. in those quiet moments that we sometimes have in our lives do you wonder what may be? i wonder alot of what the future holds. if anything for us. i cant belive that this love i hold for you is meant to be lost like this. it just doesnt seem right to me for us to walk away. sometimes you tell me that it may be best for us to break it off and not speak or see each other again. but what good will that do? it may help you to not hear me anymore to know the pain that i am in, so that you can move on with your life and be happy, but for me it would be another nail in the coffin a final part of me that would be torn apart and scartterd.
i try to keep busy most of the time to help me try and be strong but sometimes its too much, its too much to think of you as a person and not as part of me. belive me i picture you living your life free from me, and it saddness me too know that someone i loved so much could walk away from a love that i thought we had. three words would make me whole again would fix this tear in my heart take away the pain that i feel. " i love you" nothing more nothing less is all i need to hear from you. its funny but i havent stoped crying today, its been a while since i have had a day like this, moments when i feel so alone that i cant even see my self, i look in the mirror and i see a stranger looking back at me. hollow eyes, broken soul, lifeless and still, thats how i feel when i see myself. its hard to belive that someone could fill me up with so much like you have. you made me complete, you filled me with such wonder about life love everything you opend my eyes to things possibilites hopes and dreams that i could never achive had it not been for you. but all of that has been ripped away from me the moment you said " i dont love you anymore" that day i asked for the earth to open up and swallow me so that the pain would end.
i guess you can call these posts letters that will never be sent. they are messages that fall on deaf ears. tears that are shed but never wiped away, parts of me that i never really wanted to face. i thought that i was stronger, i knew that this day was coming but i do know why i didnt try to stop it. this angers you when i say i sometimes dont know why i dont do or do the things that i do. i just dont. i guess i werite now to help easy the pressure, its often times too much like today. it inspires me to write to vent or i feel like i will expolde with emotions.
you are like the wind now, you pass by me with just the barest touch a whisper. i long for more i urn for you. but like the wind i cant capture you, i cant hold on to you anymore. baby i am dying with out your love, i really am, parts of me are loosing them selfs to this pain. you know that i love, you know that i really need you back, but you have pulled away so far from me. i have to stop crying and focus on work, i want to see you again and i dont know....i just dont know anymore....i love that much is true, i need you, i want you, the only person i want to lay with is you, and no one else, the very idea of another by my side is in a ceartin way repulisve to me, yours is the only body i want to make love to, you are the only one who understands my needs, your body and mine fit so well that we came from the same mold i think.
come back to me please, i am empty i need you to make me whole again, how can i make you see just how much i love? how do i make you understand that i cant do this alone? god help me to find away to do this!!!!
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Posted by gatopanzo on 2007-10-29 11:02:34 | Rating: | Views: 85
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