BUGS.......YUCK!!!!!!
Ever think about BUGS????? I do all all the time. I HATE THEM. YUP........ALL BUGS!!!!!!!!!!! Why????? Because they are creepy crawly yucky scary creatures, THAT"S WHY......
When I was a kid, and YES I was a kid at one time.....(I know when dinosaurs roamed the Earth right), I was bitten by a spider. OK, I know what you're thinking ,Oooooooooooooooo a little itsy bitsy spider Funnyman????
NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! a HUGE Monster spider that would have devoured the world had I not killed it. So...... YOUR WELCOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyway, it STALKED me from above and it followed me where ever I went. It was OBSESSED with me, and me with it. For days we played coy spider and man... well ....KID games. I would go to bed and it would stealthily hide so that even a Ninja could find it.
Until one quiet night, it slowly descended from its hiding place, creeped under my night covers and BIT ME!!!!!!!!!!!! YES it did!!!
The little BASTARD bit me. After that episode, it was me against BUG.........
To this day I walk around with a fly swatter JUST in case a six, eight, or thousand legged CREATURE comes walkin' or flyin' by trying to have me for a snack. That's right, some people carry an umbrella if they think it's gonna rain, I carry a FLYSWATTER. Got a holster for it and everything. No bug is ever gonna have me for lunch again.
Now I realize that all this MAY seem a tad bit strange and well maybe a bit girlie for a big man like me, but hey, things like that stay with ya when it happens to you as a kid.
It's the same as when I got hit in the face with a flying baseball bat while playing catcher for my little league. I decided right there and then that baseball was a DANGEROUS sport and that ended my dream of playing in the Major League.The fact that I could never get a hit or couldn't catch a ball to save my life was irrelevant.. The point is.......my Baseball dream was gone ,........BUT, you know what, I never got hit in the face with a baseball bat ever again, well at least so far anyway.
Which brings me back to bugs, (BOY THAT TRANSITION SUCKED DIDN'T IT????), I hate them, always did, always will. I am the only one I know who will spray an ENTIRE can of Raid bug spray all over me INCLUDING MY FEET so that I won't get bitten by mosquitoes. That's even if I am INSIDE the house. WHEW........
The odd part here is that I love the outdoors. I just go about being in the outdoors carefully, a can of RAID in one hand, my ever ready FLYSWATTER safely tucked in it's holster, and a vigilant eye that is always searching.......SEARCHING.......for bugs.
As always, thank you for reading.
funnyman
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