things have to be the way that they are for me right now. I lost my best friend during the summer and I have come to learn that this doing was none of my doing and not all of hers either but things were said by one person and hell was to be paid by both me and my friend at work. We worked through such a hostile work environment, had things been said about us being lovers and me being dragged through the mud in order for them to get dirt on my friend so that they would have a reason to fire her. All of which I did not give them. I still miss her so much and pray that one day she will return to my life and we can be friends. Anyway, this aside awhile back I had seen something on tv with a woman saying that she had had an affair not with a man but a woman and I thought briefly what it would be like. That was the extent of it just a thought and never went to any lengths to act on it. Anyway, during the friendship with my friend, we would hug each other all the time and after awhile we began to tell each other I Love you....which we did...but then I sat back after all of this happened between us and thought that maybe just maybe this love we had for each other may indeed have been something a little more than friendship brewing, which only made sense since she would not tell me what it was that I had done for her to break off the friendship and also that that was a question she did not want to answer. She did say that now she was uncomfortable with me being there at work and maybe this is why I was such a mess after all this went down. Not that I lost just a friend but the love that I so desperatly wanted and needed from her. Now a few months have gone by and I still think of her everyday and pray that she and I will get past this and go back to being friends. But, I have now met this woman whom I am helping with an idea for a non profit venture and we began spending time together talking and drinking coffee. We have alot in common and although she had a difficult life, I enjoy her stories about her life in Belgum, her dad who is a famous wine mogul, her family, mainly her kids. We also talk about my children, how I am feeling about work, my homelife, and all that is going on around me. One day when she was giving me a hug good bye she went to kiss my cheek and I guess I turned to fast and she got my lips...omg the feelings that shot through me were incredible. I had felt this feeling before during my friendship ...but now I find myself wanting to be with her, thinking about her all the time and I am wondering if all this could be something I did not know I possessed...the need for the love of a woman.