So i woke up at 7am this morning to my sister throwing up.
great

so im up

did all my homework
and now I'm sitting here thinking.

You know THAT GIRL...you know...you have a boyfriend...everything is splendid..and then all of a sudden THAT GIRL starts coming up a lot...you see her name everywhere..her leaving him messages and shit...
and itd be quite alright, usually, because I hate girls and have mostly guy friends so being the unhypocritcal person I am I would usually let it go.
But not this time
It bugs the shit out of me
Shes not just a friend
shes an EX GIRLFRIEND.
and shes blonde...not pretty..but blonde...and no offense but i have no luck competing with blondes...who are skinnier than me too.
I just have no luck

So i let it go
all the time
i think once i shot a remark at him about a message she left on his Facebook about when she saw him at the mall at her work, and he stopped in to talk FOR AN HOUR...(this was months ago and i still think about it)...and so back to the message...she says to him...knowing DAMN WELL IM GOING TO READ IT
that "Wow nice talkin to you, everyone keeps asking me if you were my boyfriend"
FUCK NO HES NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND! Hes mine!
And i sware to you if i honestly didnt trust him i think the relationship would have stopped there.
honestly i do believe that

but for now, i trust him with everything...Ive known him for almost three years and been dating him for a quarter of the time...i just honestly....hate wondering.
and not being able to see what he writes back because IM NOT GOING TO BE THAT girl that has to "friend request" all his friends to see what they are writing back and forth...although i seirously know he looks at my phone everytime i go upstairs...like does he not trust ME? what the fuck have i ever done ? I never do anything aside from work and go to school that doesnt involve him
I just dont get it
i cant be perfect...

i dont want to be jealous
and i know its wrong
and i love him to death
and i think thats why this bothers me so much

but i swore after the last one cheated on me id never let myself get that far in and get screwed again.

ACK.

what do i do about THAT GIRL!




im exhausted...back to the pile of work on my desk

thanks for reading.