Why do I have to deal with all the sick people in my life, when will it be my turn to be taken care of??  It seems I am always the one to be taking care of others but when I say "me or I " once in awhile I am on a pitty party about me and told dont always think of just yourself.....well I cant think of myself very much because I am constantly havint to think if I am saying or doing the qrong thing to make you andry, unhappy, or upset....and when that happens all hell breaks loose and you go in to this fit of....I dont even know what to call the fit you go into...you just go off on me and make things even more difficult....I cant help you when I cant even help my self half the time....and that is all you tell me take care of what you need to take care of...but when I start that it is like I am not paying enough attention to you and you get mad and say things like....:"why dosen't anybody think about me, how I feel....."  well you make me feel like that statment everyday....I do everything for you...you do nothing for me but bitch and moan about what Id ont do right for you....you tell me to grow up and take care of buisness...well when re you going to grow up and take care of your own buisness....if we would just take care or what we need to we could maybe be a "family" of sorts again....have a some what relationship again.....

Its bad when you love somebody so much and in the begining it was all good....drugs get put in the mix...and now that I am trying to get off them...I dont know you anymore...I dont know how to interatc with you without the drugs so there for I dont know what direction to take myself because I dont want to loose you....but in order to fix ME I need to loose you and that in a nutshell breaks the heck or of my heart.....this is such a difficult thing to do in life...why inoreder to make it better to I have to make things worse in order to feel better and how can it feel better if I have to be rid of you?!?!?!?!?!