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| Freedom |
I have a country to call my own. A house, family, friends and much more. So deep down i feel quite guilty complaining on the trivialities of life....but i know im not free. I am no longer a child. a student still. a dependent with no income of my own. i wonder whether everything will change when i find a job?
Its absurd. i have to receive permission for everything i do. its funny because most of the time i say im doing this or that. its not like im asking if i can do it. the response being either 'dont', 'no' or a string of questions after which i am asked 'do you really want to do that? or 'do you have to go there now?....the tone of the question implying that i should oblige and say no.
I am not kept under locked doors. just questionned for everything. 'go ahead and do whatever you want....but when i try to...its never a no but a 'is that really necessary?' I know that my answer wouldnt really matter in the end. the decision is taken. done. complete. I'm not talking about extravagant over the top things like needing permission to jump off a cliff. (i wouldnt do that anyway). Its simpler things like attending a friend's birthday party or going to watch a match.
Lately ive begun to not bother asking and simply reject invitations knowing that i either wont be allowed to or would have to listen to a lot of complaining once i return. i cum from a conservative background. actually compared to most girls my age i am very previleged! So, i have to endure complains like 'your school has spoilt you', 'you should realize yur role, your culture', 'its a waste of money'. so on and so forth....sigh. Its better to have a peaceful time at home rather than rebel. I'm older now and only wish i was allowed to have more fun during my school!! life gets too serious as you grow up!!
I'm not a party till dawn or shop till you drop person but i love to just go out with friends and have a good time. Ive never told anyone that i get told off and sumtimes simply not allowed to do as i wish. Its a pity everyone think im too studious...boring....and sumtyms anti-social.and dont know how to have fun...if only they knew!
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Posted by frangipani on 2009-09-16 09:56:10 | Rating: | Views: 10
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